What I Learned This Summer

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you likely know that I came across Emily P. Freeman a couple years ago, and since then, I've enjoyed her blog, podcast, and some of her books. I've taken a lot of the tips that she's given for being more mindful and more purposefully present in life. This is now another--keeping a running list of the things I've learned this summer. She lets her readers link up their own lists to her blog, so this is mine. (Also, feel free to share yours!)

What I Learned This Summer:



1) I need to find a way to garden and partake of nature. When I went back to the States this year, it was the first time in a while that I was there for spring. My grandmother has beautiful gardens as does my mom, and my family plants a vegetable and herb garden every year. I love being able to walk barefoot in the grass and smell the flowers and cultivate plants. I haven't had much luck in the past. Right now, I do have some flowers out front that have continued living since our wedding, which is great, and for the most part, they're beautiful (except for the ones the ants have all but consumed). But, they just kind of do their thing. I grew up my whole childhood surrounded by land and privacy and plenty of nature. Where we live now is in the midst of pine trees and close to a mountain, but we're nestled now among soooo many houses, and there is no privacy. It wasn't that way when I first moved here, but lots of houses have been springing up everywhere. So, I decided this summer that I need to find a way to create my own secret garden. Hard to do when we have absolutely no land, but we're getting creative with our tiny perimeter. Due to financially pacing ourselves and car troubles, it has been very slow progress, but I'm determined to find a way to enjoy some privacy in nature.

2) Grief comes in weird ways. Since my grandfather passed away in May, I have found myself weepy at some expected things but also some very unexpected things. I think grief does give us a deep sense of the pain of others and a new understanding--or at least that's what I'm using to justify my tears watching Meghan McCain crying at her father's funeral, my tears watching Megyn Kelly segments of the families of organ donors meeting the people who received their loved one's life-saving organs, and numerous videos of Michael Ketterer's adoption stories (more on that later).

3) I need a plan for how to deal with my first week back to Honduras after being in the States because it's just getting rougher. That first week after leaving my family behind and jumping back into the difficulties of living here and cultural differences is getting harder for me every time. Yet, every time, it's like it catches me off-guard. There's the need to grieve without getting stuck in emotional tunnel vision. So, I want to find some appropriate ways of self-care to make that transition not at despairing.

4) Critical people often carry amazing messages for great solutions, but they often don't know how to communicate clearly and get lost in their own pain and loneliness. This lesson came from a message on WorshipU by Brian Johnson, and it really spoke to my heart. As someone who has sometimes been labeled or felt like a critical person in some cases, it made me feel atoned that often my solutions and observations do carry merit, but it also gave me the encouragement needed to learn to communicate in a more clear way. Being more adamant isn't being clearer. Being clearer is more so about communicating the love behind your suggestions rather than insisting on your solutions.

5) Yoga stretches are so helpful in easing back pain when standing all day. When I was serving in the kitchen all day at MK camp, I was not used to being on my feet so much, and my back was feeling it. But, after I started daily stretching out in child's pose and cat/cow pose, I felt a lot of relief.


Photo from llbean.com

6) L. L. Bean Hybridlight Solar Flashlight is great. I'm not receiving any sort of compensation for saying this either. Our electricity goes off every so often and at the MK camp, the electricity was sketchy. So, this flashlight that can charge via the sun or via an electrical outlet can also charge any device that uses a USB charger. It's handy.



7) In hot summer months, handkerchiefs are my new favorite thing. When I was in the States, I found some cute patterned bandannas for cheap, and I've been using them since. When it's hot outside, the last thing I want is to have hair in my face and on my neck--thus, the handkerchief as a headband.

8) NASA lidar equipment can now be used to map out archaeological sites that have been consumed by their natural environment. This knowledge came from the book, The Lost City of the Monkey God. This equipment was used to map out a lost city in ruins underneath the dense jungle of La Moskitia here in Honduras. Without that equipment, it would have remained a mystery.

9) I feel passionate about immigration issues, but the issues are so complicated that I can't articulate any concrete views because I don't believe I should add to the problem if I don't have a solution, and I don't. Living in Honduras has given me the opportunity to see and understand the issue from many angles. Applying for my husband's US residency has made the issue personal. Many people have no idea just how difficult and how EXPENSIVE it can be to enter the States legally. The difficulty can definitely be a deterrent for people to try to immigrate legally. I know people who live in the States illegally who work their tails off. I know people who illegally entered the States to seek asylum because gang members were trying to kill them; their danger was quite serious and real, and in some cases, not in any way asked for. I know people who went to the States illegally and received asylum because they knew what kind of lies to tell to qualify, and what they said was not even close to the truth. I know people who decided to go to the States on a whim just because they got bored with Honduras and thought they'd make more money in the US, and in some cases, they were right. I know people who were deported. I know people who lived their entire lives in the States only to be deported here with little knowledge of how to live life here. I know people who have tried to apply to go legally even just to visit as a tourist who were repeatedly rejected for non-descriptive reasons or for no stated reason at all. (My husband is among them.) I know people (generally wealthy) who come and go to and from the US as they please. I know people who have done all of the legal proceedings for their husbands' US residencies and have waited for years for any kind of result and others who received their US residencies within a couple months with no problem. The reasons for going aren't always the same or consistent. And, the system for processing isn't consistent across the board either because namely, we're dealing with humans and not numbers. What I can tell you is that I don't believe I've encountered even a single family here who doesn't have someone in the States whether legally or illegally. And, I know many families and individuals who have great financial dependency on someone who is sending money to them from the States. I know people who have gone to the States to better their families' economic opportunities only to rip their families apart by marrying someone else in the US and starting a whole other family. And, I know people who really are there working for the sole purpose of sustaining their families here, who are planning to return to life here when they've saved enough money to build their house or start their own business. And I know of people who fled Honduras because there was a warrant out for their arrest. I know Hondurans who adamantly hate the idea of Trump's wall, the increased deportations, and the changes in the immigration system. And, I know Hondurans who think that all of those things are totally justified. Boiling down the immigration issues to easy rhetoric or finding an easy cure-all is impossible because truly, every case is different. I can see and justify viewpoints from many different sides. What I can tell you is that trying to place a blanket statement on who Central American immigrants are or why they go to the States is at best immature and at worst kind of racist. It all goes back to story for me--these are real people with real needs and real families and real flaws just like US citizens. And, if the rhetoric is going to focus mostly on gangs, it's important to have all of the information and remember that the gang most often mentioned in political commentary is MS-13--a gang that was actually formed in the US then deported back to El Salvador and Honduras. And, if you want to go back even deeper in history, a lot of the poverty and political instability (that has contributed to drug trafficking and gang involvement) of nations like Honduras has been related directly or indirectly to the US's exploitation of their natural resources or the US population's demand for illicit drugs or the US government's foreign policy. So, all of this to say, that the heart of my viewpoints is that we be a people who make decisions that aren't based on fear or fear propaganda, but that we deeply acquaint ourselves with the lives and stories of those impacted on both sides. There have been people hurt on both sides of the issue. Creating an "us and them" mentality, to me, is lazy and heartbreaking when I know that many of my US citizen friends would make many of the same decisions, especially for love of family, if placed in the circumstances that many of my Honduran friends find themselves in. It is a complicated issue, but the decisions we make as a nation whether culturally, spiritually, economically, or politically have a far-reaching impact which require great responsibility.

10) I have to take my make-up off before going to sleep, no matter how lazy I'm feeling or how late it is. I know, I know, at my age, this is a no-brainer. Usually, I'm pretty good about this. But after a lazy late night or two, I gave myself a painful stye. Lesson learned the hard way. Thank God for antibiotic drops.

11) Grace and giving the benefit of the doubt along with truthful expressions of feelings are so important in relationships. This continued realization came after a couple of months in phone tag and misunderstandings while trying to get some paperwork for Raúl's visa application. I'm happy to say that the story has a happy ending, and I think it even had a purpose though nerve-wracking. But, it wouldn't have ended well if it weren't for grace, truth, and truly giving the benefit of the doubt.

12) "It was not the ministry that made life worthwhile. It was my journey of watching the faithfulness of God all my days." -- Corrie ten Boom
I feel like my life has reflected this quote this summer. Ministry as a compartment can cause weariness or even feelings of futility or frustration. But, it is always God's faithfulness that makes it all worth it. It is all about Him. And that faithfulness has been shown in the good decisions Josuan is finally making, the ways God was present during the time surrounding my grandfather's funeral, and in those who continue to come enthusiastically to our small group.

13) How hard it is to adopt in Honduras, especially via foster care. While at MK camp, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with a woman who serves as a foster parent to Honduran children in need, and who would like to be able to adopt those children. But, in talking to her, it became clear how much time-consuming bureaucracy is involved with no guarantee of positive results. With so many children in need, that is heartbreaking. I can understand the desire to protect children from those with ill intentions, but I wish there were a balance that made more sense.

14) Mexican or Tex-Mex food is the cheapest to make for a crowd usually, but it's also very labor intensive. When all else overwhelms, soup. As I've been cooking for 15 people every Saturday, I've tried to keep some variety. And, that's from where that observation comes.

15) We often pick a certain kind of church because of our childhood and familial experiences whether healthy or traumatic. I read about this in a book I finished this summer called, Secrets of Your Family Tree by Cloud, Townsend, Carder, Brawand, and Henslin. It's a good read and eye-opening on many levels.

16) I love Eggs Benedict. I got around to trying this during my anniversary brunch, and it's so good. Hollandaise sauce is so good.

17) Who "my" representative is in the House of Representatives.  Raúl and I have spent a lot of this year studying for the US citizenship test. That's a long way away for us in terms of Raúl's immigration process timeline, but it never hurts to get an ample head start. In the midst of studying all 100 questions of the civics and history exam, we came across the question regarding who is our representative from our state in the House of Representatives. Of course, this is an odd question since Raúl has never lived in the States, but for technical purposes, it'll be my home state. So, while I did know the senators from my state, I had to look this one up.

18) I can enjoy exercising apart from running as long as there is variety. I do like the consistency of running, and I miss that. But, I've also had a lot of fun (and probably some good muscle confusion) coming up with a different exercise plan each month, mixing it up with different kinds of cardio.

19) Michael Ketterer. Let me explain--one of my favorite worship groups is United Pursuit. I've liked them since college. When Marvin and Josuan left the house, and I was dealing with that loss and the loss of my identity as a single mom and the residual stress of it all, the song I had on repeat was "Seasons Change" by United Pursuit. The curly haired, raspy-voiced guy singing that song is Michael Ketterer. I just discovered a couple weeks ago that Michael Ketterer is a finalist on America's Got Talent, received the Golden Buzzer from Simon Cowell, and also made him cry. I don't typically watch America's Got Talent, but since realizing that the same guy from that song I love is now on a national platform, I have been ODing on all of the videos I can find on YouTube that feature Michael Ketterer. He adopted five sons through foster care, and his adoption stories and how adoption has taught him about God's love have made me cry and have reminded me of my passion for adoption. This video was especially impacting (though long): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpNK243nlz0 I can't vote for him from Honduras, but if you're at all interested, I think he is absolutely worth the support!

20) Learning to be ordinary is humbling and hard. This year, my word for the year was "Alive," and I think while that word normally conjures up images and thoughts of bucket lists and adventures, I think I've more so been learning how to just be faithful in the ordinary. I'm sure there will be more to write in-depth on that topic. But for now, it's made for a summer of just being present with others, sitting in both grief and joy, and taking notice of the little victories every day. And, the place where true family is made is in the ordinary--mowing-grass moments, cooking-dinner moments, playing-games moments, sitting-around-a-campfire moments, and bedtime-prayers moments. After all of the time I got to cherish with my family this summer, ordinary doesn't seem so ordinary after all. 

So, what have you learned this summer?