"It feels good to be lost in the right direction." - Unknown {February Recap and What I Learned This Winter}

This post is going to be a rather epic recap not only of February but also of the winter as a whole. I have to admit that this month has felt both difficult and subtly hope-giving. For whatever reason, the world has felt like a hostile place of late, but I've also felt God's underlying nudges of hope still humming below the surface. (Some of my melancholy could be because I'm nursing a nasty respiratory virus.) I've read many posts and blogs by those weathering the frozen tundra. My family updates me on the impending snow. Here, it's been unseasonably hot this month which could make for absolute scorchers in March and April. Yet, I feel like many of the sentiments of winter blues echo within my own soul even as the sun is beaming down. I keep trucking forward, and my consolation is that while I do still feel a lack of clarity, I also feel, for the first time in a long time, that I'm still walking in God's will--lost in the right direction. At any rate, the need for a cultural breather is perpetually staring me in the face, but the good news is that the US trip is on the horizon like a lighthouse. As always, it's been good to reflect on February and the season as a whole. It's a reminder that I'm still learning, still living, and still seeing the joy in the small things. Without further ado...

What I Learned: Winter Edition:


Photo by Debby Hudson

1) I can get things done in 30 minutes increments even though it's not my natural inclination. I am usually the kind of person who likes to get things done all in one sitting. I hate starting something and leaving it half done because I have some sort of time commitment. But, in the beginning of January, I started this habit of giving myself more or less 30 minutes for various tasks--writing, reading, etc. It was going pretty well, surprisingly, and I was really enjoying it. Then life happened, and I had unexpected visitors and more pressing, time-sensitive tasks, and that magical habit went out the window. I'm hoping to pick it back up though now that some of those pressures have subsided. It was nice to feel like I was making some progress even if I wasn't finishing, and it made finishing that much easier.


2) I realized how far-reaching a government shutdown can be. My dad has worked for the US government for a long time, so the government shutdown at the beginning of this year wasn't our first rodeo as a family. But, it had never gone on so long and had certainly never, that I can remember, sparked thoughts of needing to apply for unemployment benefits or making a plan of how to make it until getting another pay check. My heart went out to all of the families affected and most certainly to those workers who were thrust into financial crisis. I was further surprised to learn how the embassy workers were affected here. I hadn't made the previous connection that they too would be affected--and most notably contract workers who work in the embassy. Those are the people who didn't have access to things like unemployment as a safety net.


3) Moving furniture around the house can make a home feel like new again. Life can get into a rut sometimes, and when that happens, my best bet for slowly crawling out is to change my perspective. This can also be said of the home. Changing curtains to let in more light. Getting rid of a piece of furniture that you never really liked anyway. Re-imagining the furniture you do have serving a different purpose. All of these can breathe new life into the personal refuge space. Most of our furniture are hand-me-downs or were bought used, so it's also nice to find ways to make pieces feel like our own.


4) "Poverty is not a lack of money; it is a lack of revelation." -- Kris Vallotton, Poverty, Riches, and Wealth
While I can definitely foresee some arguments that could be armed against this statement, after living in a Third World country for a while now, I can still say that there is truth to it. Raúl and I were just talking last night about how someone who is dealt a life of struggles can either choose to be a victim or can overcome their obstacles. Either choice begins with a mindset. Granted, it's very hard for those who have grown up in poverty to change mentalities, but that's the point I think Kris Vallotton is making--that revelation can be a game-changer. Our hope as missionaries is that people would learn how to depend on God for themselves just as we have to depend on God. We aren't any more special and don't have any more access to the Heavenly Father than anyone else who believes. But, we have witnessed firsthand that taking care of someone's lack of money doesn't necessarily lead to an attitude transformation and even lesser so to a life transformation. And, within my own life, I can identify how my own orphan spirit and lacking attitudes lead to not only a poverty of spirit but also a a lifestyle that doesn't always reflect the riches of the Kingdom. Work in progress.



Photo by Artur Rutkowski

5) "Pesto" means pounded and is best made with a pestle. This little tidbit I learned from a segment by Samin Nosrat of Salt Fat Acid Heat. I currently don't own a mortar and pestle, but it's on my list.


6) "Our prayers know no bounds, so long as we are open to thinking about time from God's perspective, rather than our own." - Dutch Sheets, An Appeal to Heaven 
This was not a totally new concept for me, but I loved being reminded of how our spiritual forefathers have laid groundwork with their prayers. Lou Engle is another person who has talked about tapping into our spiritual birthright via the people who planted seeds before us. It's always made me wonder who laid the groundwork here in Honduras, what missionaries went before me, and how my prayers can build upon their own. At any rate, life and humanity are parts of God's story, and with that in mind, we can pray for God's will even without the guarantee that we'll see it in our lifetime.


7) I love sped up videos of people cooking. For whatever reason, they are so relaxing. I'm not talking about talk show food segments. I'm talking about how-to videos. The colors are usually vibrant. Sometimes there is music. But overall, it's just enjoyable to watch someone dicing vegetables and stirring a pot and greens wilting. It feels accomplished and makes it all look so easy.


February Recap:
What I Cooked:
1) Sausage and Tortellini with Kale and White Beans. This meal was different than the usual, hearty, and just all around enjoyable. It's also very versatile and easy to use with substitutes. You could use ground sausage, but I used turkey kielbasa. You can also use whatever greens you have on hand. The recipe I used as a reference called for spinach, but I used kale. I also used 2% milk to help make the sauce creamy rather than using heavy cream. The reference recipe didn't call for white beans, but I added them because they give the dish a bit more substance and also made it stretch farther for feeding more people. Here is the reference recipe: https://barefeetinthekitchen.com/sausage-tortellini-spinach-recipe/




2) Ground Beef Vegetable Soup with Cream Cheese.
As you can see, sometimes I go the healthy substitution route, and sometimes I don't. I am usually not a huge fan of vegetable soup. I don't like large chunks of tomato in soup--it's a texture issue. So, while I did use tomatoes in this soup, I also roasted then pureed them. I added the cream cheese because who doesn't like a creamy soup? I always prefer to use fresh vegetables as opposed to canned or frozen. It's a bit more work, but I don't mind. I used potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots, and corn. Here is the recipe I used for reference: https://togetherasfamily.com/tomato-hamburger-vegetable-soup/

3) Fish Tacos with Slaw and Sriracha Mayo. I like to keep tilapia fillets on hand because they can be frozen for a while and are easily defrosted and cooked, which can be essential for a quick, throw-together meal. You could batter and fry them, but I usually don't. The slaw is simple--just cabbage, shredded carrots, cilantro, salt, pepper, and lime juice and/or a hint of vinegar. Beans can be added to the taco as well as pico de gallo depending on how filling you want it to be. What really makes it special is sriracha lime mayo drizzled on top. The three ingredients are in the name though you can also add some salt and garlic powder if you'd like. You could also fry or bake the tortilla rather than keeping them al pastor. 


What I Watched:

1) #Stayhere. This was a Netflix find. I enjoy any show that involves creativity as mentioned before. This show helps people who are renting out their spaces on sites like Airbnb find ways to renovate in order to bring in the most customers. I love a good room transformation. The only aspect of the show that was never clear and that I wondered about was who exactly was supplying the money for the renovations. I'd definitely love to stay in any of the completed spaces.

2) Instant Family. I had been excited about this movie since I saw the trailer a while ago. Adoption is close to my heart, and fighting to win the trust of someone who has been through trauma is something that I've lived out. This movie was very funny and tear-jerking as it follows the story of a family that is formed by a couple becoming foster parents. It is based on the true story of the director, Sean Anders, and while I have never been a foster parent in the conventional sense, I could identify with so many of the emotions and frustrations. So often, I feel like the danger with adoption or foster care films is that they sugarcoat and don't accurately portray the commitment and resilience it can take. Bonding isn't always cheap and easy. This movie didn't feel fake, to me, in that regard though perhaps I'm not the best authority.

3) Jamie and Jimmy's Food Fight Club. For someone who enjoys watching cooking shows, this was actually my surprising first introduction to Jamie Oliver. I have heard his name and even used some of his recipes as a reference, but I'd never seen him on any shows that I could recall. This show involves Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty, who are from England, opening their own pop-up cafe in England, inviting celebrities to recreate a treasured recipe, teaching DIY ways of making things like a smoker for salmon or making your own sausage. They also place a spotlight on issues of food waste and present solutions for specific cases of food waste across England. I love the premise. It packs so much into one show without feeling disjointed. The whole tone of the show is sunny though it incorporates activism against food waste. I also enjoyed the segment of celebrities sharing their memories of some of the best dishes they've ever eaten, and the research the show does to track down that particular recipe.

4) Roma. I really enjoy movies. I like to hear the Oscar buzz and see what all of the fuss is about. This movie, made by Alfonso Cuarón of Mexico, was the champion of Central America, and I have to say I was captivated by Yalitza Aparicio's Cinderella story. How crazy is it that someone who had never acted before would be nominated for an Oscar in her very first work?! Disclaimer: This movie has some unexpected full nudity that I was not prepared for. It's honestly not sexy and is actually very silly, but it's always good to be aware since I had no idea going into it. At any rate, I understood what the hype was about though I think Raúl was confused. It's very artistic and presents a snapshot of life vignettes rather than a typical story arc of plot points. There isn't really an ending as it should be understood that the lives of the characters will obviously continue. The black and white cinematography is beautiful. And, while the setting of the film is in the 1970s, it very much feels like Central America. It's set in Mexico, but there were a few things that Raúl was excited about seeing depicted in a movie. It was cool to see the same kind of appliances that are common here and see someone washing in a pila. It's a movie that I could recommend to someone who wants to get a feel for Central American life. And, while most of the depictions of Latino life revolve around narcos or telenovelas or things that feel like superficial, over-dramatic caricatures of Latinos, this film felt true to life. It's anti-climactic in some ways, but it's because the women in this film are resolved to living the life they've been handed in the best way they know how. Knowing that the film is based on the domestic worker who helped raise Alfonso Cuarón only makes it feel that much more personal.


What I Read:

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1) The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin. This book I picked up from an online "if you like that then you'll like this" generator as I was wanting to read some more fiction but not the usual stuff. What drew my attention to it is that it's about a bookstore owner. The book does have some language and sexual references though nothing graphic. It was also completely unexpected how the book shifts in purpose. It's not a typical mystery though that's how the back jacket portrays it. It's actually a book about human connection and the ways that relationship lead us through our darkest hours and to our best purposes in life. By the end of it, I was very invested in the characters and was surprised by many of the twists. One of my favorite parts of the book is when A. J. is talking about how C. S. Lewis' description of Turkish delight made him desperate to try it, but when he does, it turns out to be a gummy disappointment. It's a moment when two important characters bond, but it's also an exact experience that I had in my own life and childhood. Ha ha. This book was also one I couldn't put down towards the end.


Thumbnail from amazon.com

2) The Business of Honor: Restoring the Heart of Business by Bob Hasson and Danny Silk. I am not a business person, and I hate business books. Once profit and loss and all kinds of business terminology start making an appearance, I couldn't possibly be less engaged. But, I got this book because I have read other life-changing books by Danny Silk and because I heard a podcast with Bob Hasson. I really enjoyed this book and found myself often sharing little tidbits of genius with my husband to implement in his own business. What usually turns me off toward business apart from the terminology I don't always understand is that sense of greed or striving that seems to push it all forward. But, that's why I love this book. Bob Hasson presents business as a way to both honor God and disciple others, a way to honor others with relationship and let relationship be the inspiring force that leads business forward. To me, it seems like common sense that learning how to be healthy in relationship is imperative to business, but I also feel like it's a practice that is incredibly rare. Reading examples and stories of how relationships can be sources of honor in the workplace was so refreshing. Here is a quote that made its way to my journal (though there were whole sections that were so eye-opening that would've been too much to write down):
"Our first goal in any important conversation should be to understand. However, we commonly approach important conversations with the wrong goal--the goal of agreement."
I highly recommend the book even if you aren't in business as many principles can be applied in other areas of life.

Online Reading:*As I've been a part of the Hope*Writers community, I've had a lot of access to some great up-and-coming writers who share on their blogs. These are some of their offerings:

3) "How God Loved Me into Motherhood" by Heather Lobe. Link: https://heatherlobe.com/how-god-loved-me-into-motherhood/
I enjoyed her personal story and the insight into how motherhood was both overwhelming but has also become a source of constancy and evidence of God's love in her life.

4) "A Call to Reflect" by Mary Beth Stanford. Link: https://www.marybethstanford.com/blog/call-to-reflect
I am always on the look-out for people who will write about the emotions surrounding missions with honesty. This is the second post I've read by her, and while her part of the missions world was very different from mine, many of the emotional battles she faces are ones I've also traversed in some way or another.

5) "Three Ways to Make Chores More Enjoyable" by Sarah K. Butterfield. Link: https://sarahkbutterfield.com/2019/02/08/3-ways-to-make-chores-more-enjoyable/
This short, sweet, and straightforward post is one I can echo. I don't love the chores of a housewife. In our household, I don't do all of it, but because I'm home more often, I do most of it. Sometimes, a podcast is the only rewarding thing I can use to convince myself to wash piles of dishes.

6) "Five Simple Life Habits to Inspire a More Than Enough Mindset" by Crystal Twaddell. Link:  https://www.crystaltwaddell.com/5-simple-life-habits-to-inspire-a-more-than-enough-mindset-giveaway/
As I'm still in the process of de-cluttering (sorry to defy you Marie Kondo, but I can only handle room by room), this was a nice little reminder of the heart behind simplifying.


I hope spring is peeking its way into your life in all respects, that daffodils and clarity grace your presence, and robins and new hope start strutting their way into your yard and your heart respectively.