Why Names Are Important Right Now

Photo by Jon Tyson


Not long ago, a friend of mine made a simple yet important observation. She said something to the effect of, "I think in the midst of all of this and as we're coming out of it, we're going to have to be very patient with one another and extend a lot of grace." Her point was that people were all already reacting to this trauma in very different ways, and we would all adjust to our new normal with very different processes. Many of us have already knowingly or unknowingly been walking through the stages of grief. I, personally, find that it's a lot easier both to be understood and find compassion from others and to understand my fellow humans and extend compassion when there is some effort to name how we're feeling and to take stock in where we are in our processes.

I have been pondering what exactly it looks like to start by extending grace to myself. I am learning to walk in the tension of grasping at some kind of productivity and normalcy while also giving myself grace for the days when the world's sadness hangs over me like the smoke from fire season has settled over Tegucigalpa. It's important to let ourselves feel in this season and to not turn from hurt with hearts of stone. It's also important to keep a check on ourselves that we aren't throwing ourselves into a spiral of depression or fear. For me, so far, that has looked like doing my best to discern what I'm feeling. Why do I feel like I have no energy today? Am I actually tired or do I have emotions that I am trying to escape with sleep or lounging? Am I ready to dig into what I'm feeling, or do I need to give myself permission to seek an outlet of escapism for just a bit? It's okay to be patient with ourselves. As Emily P. Freeman has taught, when we demand too much of our souls, they tend to want to go into hiding. What we are navigating is hard enough without putting yokes of unrealistic expectations upon our own shoulders. For a long time, I think I was taught that emotions were the enemy, and I was to be vigilant to make sure that they didn't control me. While that is a valid angle, it is also true that God created us with emotions, and He saw them and saw that they were good. So, it's not inappropriate to have feelings and to recognize them. And, in the same way that they can be used by the enemy for negativity and oppression, they can also be used by God to draw us closer to Himself.

The best image I can give you of how I have been approaching my emotions recently is to sit with them for a second to hold them in my hands and feel their weight and discern what they're made of. When I can, I try to give them a name. "What I have been feeling is anger because I feel threatened, and I have been trying to act that out by grasping at control..." I could try to dial down my anger (mostly unsuccessfully) or just be frustrated at myself for feeling annoyed at small things, or I can peel back that emotion to expose the fear and deal with the fear. If I find that I can't name what I'm feeling, I ask my Creator. Sometimes, my internal truth comes out in verbal processing with others. Sometimes the other person points it out, or it comes out of my own mouth, and I have to catch it before it becomes a fleeting thought that has flown away. Oftentimes, my internal truth comes out in writing. However my soul begins to emerge, I can choose to stew in the anger or immerse myself in the fear or to dwell on hopelessness, or I can answer the invitation to intimacy with God by bringing those emotions to Him.

The song that keeps popping up in my head throughout this entire ordeal has been "I Feel It All" by Feist that released during my high school years. I won't pretend I know what the song is supposed to be about, but that one line "I feel it all" sums it up for me. We don't have to be so polarizing in choosing sides. We don't have to pick just one thing to feel. We can acknowledge and make room for emotions that seem contradictory. We're allowed to be vivid and complex beings rather than one song on a broken record. We can simultaneously acknowledge our fears in relation to getting sick or the possibility of our loved ones getting sick, and we can feel a longing to return to social interaction and the pull within us to be hugged and accompanied. We can hurt deeply for the losses of those around us and enter into their suffering to cry with them, and we can also feel our own sense of relief that our loved ones are still okay. There is space within our Father's hands to hold both of those emotions without friction. I think so much of the blame and attacking and shaming of one another that is happening is because we haven't yet learned to validate our own feelings and to make space to feel it all. We're so very human with so many limitations. We can't see the future. We can't know fully how the actions we take today will affect our tomorrows. Recognizing that no one has the right answer in this time does not make us weak. It actually makes us holistically stronger because it allows us to give grace rather than judgment and to seek unity rather than to thrive in division.

The beauty of embracing our frailty and relying on the sovereignty of a mysterious (yet good) God is that we can give ourselves and others the freedom to fail. While mainstream Christianity may not always be the best representation of this concept, the truth is that not having to earn our salvation intrinsically means that our best attempts that end in failure will still be covered by His blood and His mercy. There is so much stress to be carried right now by all parties involved. It smothers us with the questions of "What if I accidentally touch my face while I'm in the grocery store--have I doomed myself?" "What if my husband refuses to wear a mask and is an essential worker--has he destined me to get sick?" "What if the economy doesn't recover--how will we survive?" "What if we don't all stay home and flatten the curve?" "What if we don't open up businesses and tank the economy?" "What if they don't develop a vaccine?" The list goes on and on, and the common denominator is that phrase of "what if." Overdosing on the "what ifs" places the yoke of protecting and caring for ourselves squarely on human shoulders. It places our eyes on our efforts as the only means of hope when history tells us that we are not the hope of creation. We can merely partner with the Hope of Creation.

There isn't one country on Earth that was actually prepared for this. Every politician, leader, businessman, boss, etc. is having to navigate uncharted waters for the very first time. Some may appear to be doing a better job than others, but the truth of the matter is that every one of those people is still a fallible human being with their own feelings. None of us is going to have a perfect record in the decision-making department in relation to the times we're living in. We're all just doing the best that we can, and it is not ever going to be enough to avoid suffering. But, that's okay because He is enough. The suffering that we're going through is not a surprise to Him. In fact, He guaranteed us that we would have troubles in this world. We cannot know all the right answers in our time-restricted limitations because what may seem right today may turn out to be harmful to our tomorrows, but we can personally know and commune with the Right Answer who sees all of eternity at once. We don't have to look to a politician or a stimulus package or even a church congregation to be our savior. It is in Him, the person of Jesus, that we move and live and have our being. He is Emmanuel, God with Us, in the fear, in the sorrow, in the confusion, in the anger, in our suffering, and in our failures. He extends grace to us, for He knows we are frail. He covers us with His blood when we can't stop touching our faces. He sees our diligent efforts, and He knows our frantic grasping at peace, yet He does not feel ashamed of us. He invites us to commune with Him at the table of grace. He invites us to be conduits of grace to the masses. He calls us higher than the blame game, higher than a political party, higher than a theological stance, higher than a government strategy. He asks us to acknowledge our humanity and need of Him, to forgive ourselves of the ways we are going to mess this up despite our best intentions, and to stop asking of ourselves and others to be the Protector, the Savior, the Healer and the Provision.

Naming our feelings in this time is important for being self-aware and intentional in wholeness. Naming our feelings helps us to be authentic with God in who we actually are and what we actually bring to His presence that needs held, dispelled, or worked through. Allowing ourselves to acknowledge what we're feeling without polarization also allows us to recognize the feelings of others and to extend grace and the freedom to fail. Naming our emotions is also special in this time because it gives us a clue as to who God wants to be for us today. He has so many names because He wants to be exactly what we need when we need it. First of all, He is El Roi--the God who sees you and loves you right where you are. He is Yahweh-Rapha--the Healer of your body and your soul. He is Jehovah-Shalom--your Peace in the midst of fear. He is Yahweh-Shammah--the God who is simply there for you, holding your hand. He is Jehovah Jireh--your Provision in economic uncertainty. He is Jehovah Tsebaoth--the God who fights for you. And He is Yeshua--your Deliverer and Savior. May His names be a salve to your heart and water that quenches the thirst of your fears. May He show you, even through your feelings, exactly how He is revealing Himself to you exactly where you are today.