What I Learned: Summer 2020

Did anyone else feel like summer just didn't exist this year? I think, for me, that's partially because it's mostly just been hot and rainy here for most of this COVID time. I have been happy to watch my plants grow though as they give a visual representation of the seasons that feels lacking in most other ways. I did miss summer in the US this year with the produce from my family's garden and camping and evening trips to get ice cream. But, as we're planning a trip now that things are opening, I'm looking forward to fall. There has been some fog and cooler mornings and evenings and lots of rain recently which feels a little bit like fall. But, I long for the coziness of cooler air and changing leaves and warm evenings with family. Nevertheless, this busy season has been full of good growth, good learning, and random new tips as you can see below. 


Photo by Jean Wimmerlin


1) "The reward of healthy conflict is connection." - Melissa Helser. Looking back over this time of being stuck at home and navigating so many new aspects of life, I feel like this quote has been reflective of how Raúl and I have handled many of the issues that have arisen. I don't think any healthy person would describe conflict as "fun" per say, but it can be rewarding when you're willing to persevere in valuing the person despite the circumstances. It hasn't been smooth sailing, but we've emerged from this (not-quite-finished) season closer and feeling like a team which isn't possible without navigating conflict. 

2) I am an idealist in the Keirsey Personality Sorter. I love learning about personality types, so I'm always excited to learn about a personality tool that I haven't been familiar with before. Given that I am an idealist, it isn't surprising that I love studying human growth and potential. Apparently, there are four types of Idealists--Teachers Counselors, Champions, and Healers. I think some aspect of myself is embodied in each of these, but unsurprisingly, I most identify with the Counselor in this season of life. 

3) Naming an emotion actually calms it according to Daniel Siegel. It's just going to be commonplace that what I learn in my counseling classes seeps into these blog posts, so this is just such a case. I have talked about naming before, but this was particularly fascinating because it's the neuroscience that backs up the importance of naming. In my first class, I learned that emotions and emotional experiences are initially stored in the same place in our brain that reacts with fight, flight, fold, or freeze. However, when we are able to identify what we're feeling and actually put those feelings into words, we move those emotions into a spot in our brains that makes those emotions more manageable. Difficult emotional experiences can be adapted in our perceptions of them by verbally processing them. Verbalizing them takes the edge off to be able to analyze them with a little more objectivity.


Photo by Jacalyn Beales


4) Winston Churchill used to take naps during the day during the war to be able to handle all of his responsibilities (according to The Power of Full Engagement by James E. Loehr and Tony Schwartz). Just one more win for the value of a good nap. 

5) Empathic and empathetic mean the same thing. Empathic is just the original word and empathetic the variant. I always worried that I was using these words wrong. It turns out that they're interchangeable! 


Photo by Sophie Mikat


6) Celery and zucchini keep longer in the fridge when wrapped in aluminum foil. So, if you're like me and you buy vegetables and then get busy and soon have a sad and droopy stalk of celery staring at you every time you open the fridge, this tip is a game-changer. 

7) How to take out my dog's stitches. My dog, Rocky, has been a hot mess this summer for various reasons. Like his pale-skinned owner, moles give him grief, and he had to have one removed. This meant he had two baby stitches that I didn't want to spend an additional money to have removed. Since my mom's a nurse, I asked her if she thought I could take out his stitches. Since she said yes and explained how, I also watched a couple YouTube videos and set to work. Rocky had a friend keeping him company while Raúl held a flashlight for me to see the wound well. It definitely took me longer than it would take a professional, but it worked out just fine and healed like it was supposed to. 

8) Grip strength can be an indicator of future health and likelihood to survive diseases. This is not news that I'm excited about since my hand dexterity is challenged with pickle jars and when my husband tightens the faucet too much. Perhaps I need to invest in a stress ball to improve my grip and combat the stress over having a weak grip to begin with. Ha ha. 

9) According to Anne Bogel, Highly Sensitive People can be very sensitive to any stimulus in their environment and can have nervous systems that are more sensitive than other people's. I always suspected that I was a highly sensitive person, but I felt like every description I had heard of Highly Sensitive People only focused on being sensitive to others' emotions. I loved Anne Bogel's description as she indicated that HSPs can have a higher sensitivity to noises, smells, and any stimulus perceived by the senses.  

10) We Enneagram sixes pretty much felt like we were made for quarantine; now that things are opening back up, we're riddled with anxiety over how to re-enter life. I learned that I was not alone in this by listening to Annie F. Downs' Enneagram Summer 2020 episodes on sixes. I feel like I don't have the energy to mentally field all the precautionary "shoulds" with all of the social contexts presenting themselves. Everyone else is chomping at the bit to get back to normal, and I kind of still want to stay in my cave. 

What did you learn as you were trucking along through this bizarre year?