24 Tips for When You Feel Stuck
Photo by Aubrey Odom
Well, it's Holy Week and consequently vacation week in our neck of the woods and for my graduate study program. There is a lot that could and should be said about Holy Week, about Jesus' sacrifice, and Jesus' resurrection. But, I think there are plenty of voices out there who are saying those things, and to be honest with you, leading up to this week, I was just hitting a wall in terms of energy level and motivation. Some of that is just the endurance of plugging along in grad school while some of that is the stifling heat that is descending upon Honduras as the dry season sets in. Thus, I've been stuck and lacking in inspiration and get-up-and-go. As globally impactful and yet amusing the ship Ever Given being stuck in the Suez Canal was, it was such a great visual representation for how we all can feel at some point in time. At some point in life, finding the time to take a shower or being mindful of trying to drink more water or finally making that phone call we've been putting off is the equivalent of the little excavator that could, digging a path so life can continue. Those little things can simultaneously feel like huge wins while also feeling like a trigger for a shame spiral of why on earth we can't do more to get our act together.
That feeling of being stuck can arise in numerous forms. We can feel stuck in a particular assignment that's under deadline. We can feel stuck in our unfulfilled dreams. We can feel stuck in a relationship that seems to be at a stalemate where no more closeness can be achieved. We can feel stuck when we consider our future because we haven't heard God speak or seen a door open. We can feel stuck in a bad attitude and not know how to shake it. We can even feel stuck in hopelessness in such a way that the words won't come when we want to pray.
So, in the spirit of giving advice to myself and in pushing back the lethargy, here are some tips for how to make some forward motion even when you feel stuck:
1) Do something else, especially something creative. This one is particularly useful if you're experiencing writer's block or are struggling to express yourself in some form or another with a deadline looming overhead (or not). I often find when I am obsessing over having to create content, I'm shutting down my own creativity because panic and frustration can set in. Some of my best ideas come when I'm washing dishes or zoning out while listening to a podcast. Sometimes while I'm chopping up vegetables for dinner or considering a new recipe I want to try, some of my best processing intrudes into that thought process but gives me breakthrough on the project I had to temporarily shelve. I think the explanation for why this works comes from Emily P. Freeman's assertion that sometimes we scare our own souls away, and they need some room to breathe in order to emerge with expression and creativity.
2) Review old dreams, consider new ones. Have you ever found yourself scared to dream because you've already had previous dreams that didn't turn out the way you wanted them to? It can take a lot of mental and emotional muscle to dare to dream again, but reviewing old dreams is a good start. It's important to take the time to mourn old dreams, to take stock of what we have learned and taken away even when we have deferred dreams, and to give ourselves permission to hope for something new. Some of the most frustrated and desperate people I've ever encountered are those who rigidly insist on one exact dream being fulfilled exactly how they imagined it. Life requires flexibility of us, and loss is guaranteed. But, letting go of one dream in order to usher in another is a sign of personal growth and resilience.
3) Focus on your relationship with God, putting your quest for answers aside. I've talked about this more in-depth in prior posts, but all in all, this one applies especially for those decisions we want to make with God's leading, only, He's keeping His mouth shut or seems to be. There is nothing wrong with seeking the Lord's answers or with fasting and praying when we're in need of direction. But, let's be diligent to participate in relationship with God rather than treating Him like a fortune cookie. He's more interested in relationship with us than with our making every decision perfectly.
4) Name your emotions and fears. One of the reasons we can feel stuck in life is because we've let ourselves get emotionally constipated. Yep, that's an unpleasant term, but I don't think that anything sums up the state we can find ourselves in when we've been busy running from our fears and our feelings. If you find yourself crying over random YouTube videos for little reason or finding offense in everything happening around you or avoiding in whatever flavor that appears for you, you might be in this camp. Your emotions are trying to find their way out anyway, so it would be much more productive to intentionally let them be heard. Sometimes, what you may think is an outside obstacle to your life is actually originating in your own being.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez
5) In the same vein, pay attention to what you're avoiding and why. Why are you dodging that person? Why are you screening that call? Why are you putting that assignment on the end of your to do list? Chances are there is a common emotional thread. Maybe they're the kinds of things that require a lot of social energy, and you're an introvert with limited supply. Maybe they're the kinds of situations that make you feel inferior or insecure, so you're unconsciously protecting your ego. Maybe the people or behaviors you're shielding yourself from are because they're hurtful, but you don't want to admit that vulnerability. Whatever the thing you're avoiding, it's worth being brave enough to explore it.
6) Take a stewardship inventory. What I mean by this is that, a lot of times, we humans want to focus on what we don't have rather than taking stock of what we do already have. We want to complain over a lack of money or a lack of resources or a lack of people. But, oftentimes, we've overlooked something we do have that could be our ticket to taking even just one step forward. This was the case for me. When I was thinking about wanting to go to grad school, no matter how I crunched the numbers, I couldn't make it work. So, I made a list of all the things I had at my disposal--material objects, talents, education, supportive relationships, and the like. Soon, it became apparent that even though I didn't know how to make my dream of grad school work, I could start by being a better steward of what I did already have. I think God really honors this because He has entrusted us with so much. It honors Him to use what He has given us well and with gratitude.
7) Verbally process or process in writing. Sometimes, when we are stuck in rumination over a particular interpersonal interaction or we're stuck in a project, our brains can get tangled in loops that never turn a corner. Some of my best realizations have come from verbally processing with an insightful friend who asks good questions or from writing about my situation. It takes the information out of heads and puts them into a scenario where they are easier to observe and analyze with a little more objectivity.
8) Remind yourself of who God is and who you are. Life can have a way of knocking the wind out of our relationship with God sometimes. A misrepresentation by a well-meaning or, in some cases, an incredibly misguided person can lead to a lot of confusion as to who God is, how He sees us, and what our worth is. It can be very difficult to separate someone else's words supposedly on behalf of God from the actual essence and being that is God. But, I think it often starts for me with returning to God's Word and reminding myself of who He is. Inevitably, when I take the time to do that and to let Him out of the boxes I or others have put Him in, He also shows me who I am as a by-product.
9) Seek out new people and environments. The reason this is necessary can vary. It could be that we just need a jumpstart. Our brains like new challenges and to take in new experiences with new people. We're wired that way. But, sometimes, we've also been hurt, and we may need to take a step to try again. If people have done the hurting, people also have to be a part of the healing. Taking a step of faith to seek out new people and environments is renewing our hope that Christ in others is still the hope of glory.
10) Utilize temporary timelines. A decision can seem insurmountable at times simply because we aren't ready to make a long-term commitment. Obviously, this tactic does not apply for all decisions, but I have found it helpful, when it can be used, to give myself permission to only commit for a trial run. That can be as simple as, "Yes, I will commit to doing __________ for three months, not indefinitely." After the time frame you set is up, you can always re-evaluate and either re-commit or stick with your original limit. I generally feel like I can do anything as long as I know it's temporary. Plus, I think it's incredibly wise to incorporate reflection and evaluation into the decisions we make anyway. Otherwise, we can reach a place in life where we have deeply ingrained habits but don't know whether those habits are still working as efficiently as they should be.
11) If you're trapped in a repetitive bad attitude or hopeless thought process, start keeping a gratitude journal. Yes, you may have to initially roll your eyes while you write stuff down because it can feel cliché, but this little step of faith and ongoing habit can subtly begin to train your brain to look for the good rather than looking for the bad.
12) On a very practical level, set a timer. Cleaning the whole house can seem so overwhelming that it paralyzes. But, setting a timer for 15 minutes is one means of taking a step and getting something done. You won't get done everything you want to get done, but you will get more done than you would have if you would have continued to procrastinate watching just one more episode on Netflix (which let's be honest, you started saying three episodes ago). If a timer isn't fun, use a favorite song. For the duration of the song, do an exercise or pick up clutter. This tip is clearly not new information for anyone, but it is a tip that I have found to work.
13) Serve. Yes, it is just that simple. I can't tell you how many times in my life God has led me exactly where I was supposed to go without my knowledge simply because I chose to stop and serve the one person in front of me. As missionary Heidi Baker says, you may not have the power to save the whole world, but you do have the power to serve the person in front of you. It all counts. God doesn't waste anything.
14) Let art speak for you. This is especially helpful if you're having trouble praying. The frontline go-to here is to read the Psalms because David often depicted the human experience with honesty. But, this could also be listening to a song that has lyrics that depict how we're feeling as well. I think a totally acceptable prayer is simply saying to God, "This song is how I'm feeling." This can also be the case for poetry or visual art. Whether you paint abstract art or you go to a gallery to see someone else's art, there is something powerfully communicative that can emerge when we ponder beauty or we let who we are emerge in new ways.
15) Forgive. I have heard so many testimonies of people whose major, needed, life change did not breakthrough until the choice to forgive. Holding a grudge does exactly what it says it does--it holds us back like a dam. It causes us to live defensively instead of creatively. It causes us to pour our energy into self-preservation when we could be developing ourselves and our ideas in unbridled ways. Now, let it also be said that forgiveness is often an ongoing process. Sometimes, it can be a one and done letting go, but often, it's a continual surrender of hurt, thoughts, and justifications. The endurance in the process of letting go of the offense is worth it though.
16) Take one step toward one thing you do know. When you're in the waiting room of life, it can seem like there is nothing you can do to move forward. We feel better when our ducks are in a row, and we can see 1,000 paces ahead of us. But, that desire to know and have a guarantee can cause us to miss the one step we could take. Let's say you feel like God has indicated that you're called to be a teacher, but you don't have the degree yet or even the means to start. You may not have an answer to that closed door, but since teaching is your passion, you could start by offering to tutor your friend's kid who is struggling with science class. You never know where that one step could lead.
17) Review old journals. Not everyone journals--I get that. But, if you do, your past you created a lifeline for present you to be pulled out of hopelessness and find some perspective. At some point in the past, you had a situation that felt impossible or emotions that felt too extreme to handle or losses you thought you'd never recover from. Yet, here you are years later, still breathing, still putting one foot in front of the other, and on the other side from whatever that past situation was. God was faithful then; He'll be faithful now too.
18) Pursue inner healing, however that looks for you. That can take on many different forms like therapy or participating in a support group like Celebrate Recovery. It may mean looking into something like Sozo or Theophostic Prayer Ministry. It could even be as simple as doing some research into the roles that past relationships can play in our present lives. Many of the patterns of how we operate originate from things we learned or experienced in childhood. It's so beneficial to unpack those experiences and can lead to a better quality of life in the present.
19) Be okay with being a beginner. I'm sure a lot of people have said this, but this most recently comes courtesy of Jennifer Garner for me. In her press for her new movie, Yes Day, she talked about how important it is to her that her kids see her be a beginner at things. Perfectionism runs rampant. Paralysis can set in because of fear of failure. We don't want to try until we're sure we can do it just right. But that's simply not realistic. Everyone starts somewhere. There are no shortcuts in learning and growing.
20) Apologize and take responsibility. This tip is especially applicable for married couples but really is useful in any relationship. If you are married, you have no doubt had a moment where an argument has disintegrated into a blame game or saying something just because you know it will set the other person off. No? Just me? Well, at any rate, if you do find yourself being petty, and you're both arguing in circles without even remotely maturely broaching what solutions could be for the issue, just go ahead, take a deep breath, and apologize. Be the first person to take a step back from the ledge, own your own junk, and put the blame game to rest. The quicker you do this, the quicker you're on a path to productive communication. The more often you do this, the easier it is, and the faster you become at preventing a conversation from skewing into the petty realm.
21) Cut it in half. Many years ago, I tutored an elderly veteran who was doing pioneering work with fellow veterans to adjust to civilian life. His tagline was "cut it in half." This strategy goes along with the timer trick. Basically, if you have a task that is to large to tackle, cut it in half. Break things down into steps you can stomach. I use this technique often. For grad school, I may have 100 pages to read for the following week. Reading a 100 pages in one sitting is so daunting (especially when it is very dense with info), and it's a guarantee that I will fall asleep if I try to tackle it that way. So, I divide it up. It's still a lot. It can still be exhausting, but my mind can wrap around 17 pages a day a lot easier, and it's a lot easier to find the time for that increment on a daily basis than to sacrifice an entire day reading 100 pages.
22) Lay a boundary. If you find yourself perpetually angry in a situation or with a particular person, that's probably a sign that you are feeling disrespected or threatened with hurt. While it may not be possible to totally guard your heart, when you can, lay a boundary. This concept has done wonders for regulating my own emotions and for improving my marriage and other relationships. I have found that when I have a boundary set, that I either don't have to make yet another decision, or I can dodge the normal fight-or-flight response because the other person is already aware of my boundary and how I will respond if that boundary is crossed. If you're stuck in a conflict with someone, I would strongly recommend considering what boundaries can be set.
Photo by Viktor Forgacs
23) Read. I know--reading is not everyone's jam. But, I had to include it because there have been so many times where reading has opened my eyes in the ways that I desperately needed or was asking for. That can include Bible reading, but it can also include all kinds of other reading. God has found me in some of the most unlikely pages. He is creative, and He can use anything to speak to us.
24) Wait. Simple, but easier said than done, I know. If it's a project, give your soul and brain space to breathe. If it's a dream, and you've already done what you know you can do, shelve it. God knows if that's the dream for you or when it's the right time for it develop. I shelved grad school for over a year because God opened the door to start. Moving to Honduras was a dream shelved for four years while I finished college. In relationships, keep in mind that we all grow in different ways and at different paces. We all need grace and permission to be imperfect especially while we're growing. I learned early on in marriage that while I might identify various issues, that doesn't mean that all of those issues need to be fixed RIGHT NOW. God has a timeline, and He graciously leads us according to our maturity. If you find you've rushed someone along before it was good timing, see #20. If you're in a season of discouragement or heavy emotions or in a season where God feels distant, just keep showing up to your life and your relationship with Him. Some days, that may be all that you can muster, but it is enough. Like the ship stuck in the Suez Canal, you never know when the right help will finally dislodge you.
What tips have I missed that you use whenever you feel stuck?
That feeling of being stuck can arise in numerous forms. We can feel stuck in a particular assignment that's under deadline. We can feel stuck in our unfulfilled dreams. We can feel stuck in a relationship that seems to be at a stalemate where no more closeness can be achieved. We can feel stuck when we consider our future because we haven't heard God speak or seen a door open. We can feel stuck in a bad attitude and not know how to shake it. We can even feel stuck in hopelessness in such a way that the words won't come when we want to pray.
So, in the spirit of giving advice to myself and in pushing back the lethargy, here are some tips for how to make some forward motion even when you feel stuck:
1) Do something else, especially something creative. This one is particularly useful if you're experiencing writer's block or are struggling to express yourself in some form or another with a deadline looming overhead (or not). I often find when I am obsessing over having to create content, I'm shutting down my own creativity because panic and frustration can set in. Some of my best ideas come when I'm washing dishes or zoning out while listening to a podcast. Sometimes while I'm chopping up vegetables for dinner or considering a new recipe I want to try, some of my best processing intrudes into that thought process but gives me breakthrough on the project I had to temporarily shelve. I think the explanation for why this works comes from Emily P. Freeman's assertion that sometimes we scare our own souls away, and they need some room to breathe in order to emerge with expression and creativity.
2) Review old dreams, consider new ones. Have you ever found yourself scared to dream because you've already had previous dreams that didn't turn out the way you wanted them to? It can take a lot of mental and emotional muscle to dare to dream again, but reviewing old dreams is a good start. It's important to take the time to mourn old dreams, to take stock of what we have learned and taken away even when we have deferred dreams, and to give ourselves permission to hope for something new. Some of the most frustrated and desperate people I've ever encountered are those who rigidly insist on one exact dream being fulfilled exactly how they imagined it. Life requires flexibility of us, and loss is guaranteed. But, letting go of one dream in order to usher in another is a sign of personal growth and resilience.
3) Focus on your relationship with God, putting your quest for answers aside. I've talked about this more in-depth in prior posts, but all in all, this one applies especially for those decisions we want to make with God's leading, only, He's keeping His mouth shut or seems to be. There is nothing wrong with seeking the Lord's answers or with fasting and praying when we're in need of direction. But, let's be diligent to participate in relationship with God rather than treating Him like a fortune cookie. He's more interested in relationship with us than with our making every decision perfectly.
4) Name your emotions and fears. One of the reasons we can feel stuck in life is because we've let ourselves get emotionally constipated. Yep, that's an unpleasant term, but I don't think that anything sums up the state we can find ourselves in when we've been busy running from our fears and our feelings. If you find yourself crying over random YouTube videos for little reason or finding offense in everything happening around you or avoiding in whatever flavor that appears for you, you might be in this camp. Your emotions are trying to find their way out anyway, so it would be much more productive to intentionally let them be heard. Sometimes, what you may think is an outside obstacle to your life is actually originating in your own being.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez
5) In the same vein, pay attention to what you're avoiding and why. Why are you dodging that person? Why are you screening that call? Why are you putting that assignment on the end of your to do list? Chances are there is a common emotional thread. Maybe they're the kinds of things that require a lot of social energy, and you're an introvert with limited supply. Maybe they're the kinds of situations that make you feel inferior or insecure, so you're unconsciously protecting your ego. Maybe the people or behaviors you're shielding yourself from are because they're hurtful, but you don't want to admit that vulnerability. Whatever the thing you're avoiding, it's worth being brave enough to explore it.
6) Take a stewardship inventory. What I mean by this is that, a lot of times, we humans want to focus on what we don't have rather than taking stock of what we do already have. We want to complain over a lack of money or a lack of resources or a lack of people. But, oftentimes, we've overlooked something we do have that could be our ticket to taking even just one step forward. This was the case for me. When I was thinking about wanting to go to grad school, no matter how I crunched the numbers, I couldn't make it work. So, I made a list of all the things I had at my disposal--material objects, talents, education, supportive relationships, and the like. Soon, it became apparent that even though I didn't know how to make my dream of grad school work, I could start by being a better steward of what I did already have. I think God really honors this because He has entrusted us with so much. It honors Him to use what He has given us well and with gratitude.
7) Verbally process or process in writing. Sometimes, when we are stuck in rumination over a particular interpersonal interaction or we're stuck in a project, our brains can get tangled in loops that never turn a corner. Some of my best realizations have come from verbally processing with an insightful friend who asks good questions or from writing about my situation. It takes the information out of heads and puts them into a scenario where they are easier to observe and analyze with a little more objectivity.
8) Remind yourself of who God is and who you are. Life can have a way of knocking the wind out of our relationship with God sometimes. A misrepresentation by a well-meaning or, in some cases, an incredibly misguided person can lead to a lot of confusion as to who God is, how He sees us, and what our worth is. It can be very difficult to separate someone else's words supposedly on behalf of God from the actual essence and being that is God. But, I think it often starts for me with returning to God's Word and reminding myself of who He is. Inevitably, when I take the time to do that and to let Him out of the boxes I or others have put Him in, He also shows me who I am as a by-product.
9) Seek out new people and environments. The reason this is necessary can vary. It could be that we just need a jumpstart. Our brains like new challenges and to take in new experiences with new people. We're wired that way. But, sometimes, we've also been hurt, and we may need to take a step to try again. If people have done the hurting, people also have to be a part of the healing. Taking a step of faith to seek out new people and environments is renewing our hope that Christ in others is still the hope of glory.
10) Utilize temporary timelines. A decision can seem insurmountable at times simply because we aren't ready to make a long-term commitment. Obviously, this tactic does not apply for all decisions, but I have found it helpful, when it can be used, to give myself permission to only commit for a trial run. That can be as simple as, "Yes, I will commit to doing __________ for three months, not indefinitely." After the time frame you set is up, you can always re-evaluate and either re-commit or stick with your original limit. I generally feel like I can do anything as long as I know it's temporary. Plus, I think it's incredibly wise to incorporate reflection and evaluation into the decisions we make anyway. Otherwise, we can reach a place in life where we have deeply ingrained habits but don't know whether those habits are still working as efficiently as they should be.
11) If you're trapped in a repetitive bad attitude or hopeless thought process, start keeping a gratitude journal. Yes, you may have to initially roll your eyes while you write stuff down because it can feel cliché, but this little step of faith and ongoing habit can subtly begin to train your brain to look for the good rather than looking for the bad.
12) On a very practical level, set a timer. Cleaning the whole house can seem so overwhelming that it paralyzes. But, setting a timer for 15 minutes is one means of taking a step and getting something done. You won't get done everything you want to get done, but you will get more done than you would have if you would have continued to procrastinate watching just one more episode on Netflix (which let's be honest, you started saying three episodes ago). If a timer isn't fun, use a favorite song. For the duration of the song, do an exercise or pick up clutter. This tip is clearly not new information for anyone, but it is a tip that I have found to work.
13) Serve. Yes, it is just that simple. I can't tell you how many times in my life God has led me exactly where I was supposed to go without my knowledge simply because I chose to stop and serve the one person in front of me. As missionary Heidi Baker says, you may not have the power to save the whole world, but you do have the power to serve the person in front of you. It all counts. God doesn't waste anything.
14) Let art speak for you. This is especially helpful if you're having trouble praying. The frontline go-to here is to read the Psalms because David often depicted the human experience with honesty. But, this could also be listening to a song that has lyrics that depict how we're feeling as well. I think a totally acceptable prayer is simply saying to God, "This song is how I'm feeling." This can also be the case for poetry or visual art. Whether you paint abstract art or you go to a gallery to see someone else's art, there is something powerfully communicative that can emerge when we ponder beauty or we let who we are emerge in new ways.
15) Forgive. I have heard so many testimonies of people whose major, needed, life change did not breakthrough until the choice to forgive. Holding a grudge does exactly what it says it does--it holds us back like a dam. It causes us to live defensively instead of creatively. It causes us to pour our energy into self-preservation when we could be developing ourselves and our ideas in unbridled ways. Now, let it also be said that forgiveness is often an ongoing process. Sometimes, it can be a one and done letting go, but often, it's a continual surrender of hurt, thoughts, and justifications. The endurance in the process of letting go of the offense is worth it though.
16) Take one step toward one thing you do know. When you're in the waiting room of life, it can seem like there is nothing you can do to move forward. We feel better when our ducks are in a row, and we can see 1,000 paces ahead of us. But, that desire to know and have a guarantee can cause us to miss the one step we could take. Let's say you feel like God has indicated that you're called to be a teacher, but you don't have the degree yet or even the means to start. You may not have an answer to that closed door, but since teaching is your passion, you could start by offering to tutor your friend's kid who is struggling with science class. You never know where that one step could lead.
17) Review old journals. Not everyone journals--I get that. But, if you do, your past you created a lifeline for present you to be pulled out of hopelessness and find some perspective. At some point in the past, you had a situation that felt impossible or emotions that felt too extreme to handle or losses you thought you'd never recover from. Yet, here you are years later, still breathing, still putting one foot in front of the other, and on the other side from whatever that past situation was. God was faithful then; He'll be faithful now too.
18) Pursue inner healing, however that looks for you. That can take on many different forms like therapy or participating in a support group like Celebrate Recovery. It may mean looking into something like Sozo or Theophostic Prayer Ministry. It could even be as simple as doing some research into the roles that past relationships can play in our present lives. Many of the patterns of how we operate originate from things we learned or experienced in childhood. It's so beneficial to unpack those experiences and can lead to a better quality of life in the present.
19) Be okay with being a beginner. I'm sure a lot of people have said this, but this most recently comes courtesy of Jennifer Garner for me. In her press for her new movie, Yes Day, she talked about how important it is to her that her kids see her be a beginner at things. Perfectionism runs rampant. Paralysis can set in because of fear of failure. We don't want to try until we're sure we can do it just right. But that's simply not realistic. Everyone starts somewhere. There are no shortcuts in learning and growing.
20) Apologize and take responsibility. This tip is especially applicable for married couples but really is useful in any relationship. If you are married, you have no doubt had a moment where an argument has disintegrated into a blame game or saying something just because you know it will set the other person off. No? Just me? Well, at any rate, if you do find yourself being petty, and you're both arguing in circles without even remotely maturely broaching what solutions could be for the issue, just go ahead, take a deep breath, and apologize. Be the first person to take a step back from the ledge, own your own junk, and put the blame game to rest. The quicker you do this, the quicker you're on a path to productive communication. The more often you do this, the easier it is, and the faster you become at preventing a conversation from skewing into the petty realm.
21) Cut it in half. Many years ago, I tutored an elderly veteran who was doing pioneering work with fellow veterans to adjust to civilian life. His tagline was "cut it in half." This strategy goes along with the timer trick. Basically, if you have a task that is to large to tackle, cut it in half. Break things down into steps you can stomach. I use this technique often. For grad school, I may have 100 pages to read for the following week. Reading a 100 pages in one sitting is so daunting (especially when it is very dense with info), and it's a guarantee that I will fall asleep if I try to tackle it that way. So, I divide it up. It's still a lot. It can still be exhausting, but my mind can wrap around 17 pages a day a lot easier, and it's a lot easier to find the time for that increment on a daily basis than to sacrifice an entire day reading 100 pages.
22) Lay a boundary. If you find yourself perpetually angry in a situation or with a particular person, that's probably a sign that you are feeling disrespected or threatened with hurt. While it may not be possible to totally guard your heart, when you can, lay a boundary. This concept has done wonders for regulating my own emotions and for improving my marriage and other relationships. I have found that when I have a boundary set, that I either don't have to make yet another decision, or I can dodge the normal fight-or-flight response because the other person is already aware of my boundary and how I will respond if that boundary is crossed. If you're stuck in a conflict with someone, I would strongly recommend considering what boundaries can be set.
Photo by Viktor Forgacs
23) Read. I know--reading is not everyone's jam. But, I had to include it because there have been so many times where reading has opened my eyes in the ways that I desperately needed or was asking for. That can include Bible reading, but it can also include all kinds of other reading. God has found me in some of the most unlikely pages. He is creative, and He can use anything to speak to us.
24) Wait. Simple, but easier said than done, I know. If it's a project, give your soul and brain space to breathe. If it's a dream, and you've already done what you know you can do, shelve it. God knows if that's the dream for you or when it's the right time for it develop. I shelved grad school for over a year because God opened the door to start. Moving to Honduras was a dream shelved for four years while I finished college. In relationships, keep in mind that we all grow in different ways and at different paces. We all need grace and permission to be imperfect especially while we're growing. I learned early on in marriage that while I might identify various issues, that doesn't mean that all of those issues need to be fixed RIGHT NOW. God has a timeline, and He graciously leads us according to our maturity. If you find you've rushed someone along before it was good timing, see #20. If you're in a season of discouragement or heavy emotions or in a season where God feels distant, just keep showing up to your life and your relationship with Him. Some days, that may be all that you can muster, but it is enough. Like the ship stuck in the Suez Canal, you never know when the right help will finally dislodge you.
What tips have I missed that you use whenever you feel stuck?
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