Daunting December

As mentioned in other posts, December was a challenge in many ways. It simultaneously dragged on and flew by. But after some much needed days of more stillness, warmth, and breathing, I can see that it held a lot of growth as well as sweetness. At the beginning of the month, back when Central America still got the US major network channels, I watched a lot of the coverage of President George H. W. Bush's funeral. I wasn't even born yet when he was inaugurated as President, but in the current climate of events and common political rhetoric, hearing stories of him from other politicians and his own family felt like taking a step into calmer times. Much like with Senator John McCain's funeral, there was just a deep level of integrity and respect that echoed in his memory, and all of that reminded me of my Granddad. Tears streamed down my face watching Bob Dole rising from his wheelchair with help to salute the casket, and I couldn't help but cry when Tom Brokaw, the news anchor my dad watched every night when I was growing up, got choked up talking about the message the pastor shared likening Jim Baker's massaging of the former President's feet in his final hours to Jesus washing His disciples feet. Listening to Michael W. Smith's emotional singing of "Friends" and reading later of his friendship with Bush, Sr. still makes me weepy. There was something so cleansing about watching Washington, D.C., such a political place, reverberate with talk of Heaven and to see people who often must feel like they run the world be humbled to recognize the government of Someone larger than themselves. I don't know what the protocols are for meeting people in Heaven, but I couldn't help but wonder if my Granddad gets to meet Bush, Sr. It sure seems like they're the kind of people who would be friends.

Overall, December started in such a human way--vulnerable but sacred, and it has ended that way as well even though the middle was full of more bustle and stress than was necessary. I spent so much time cooking this month which was at times, a joyful expression of creativity and at times, an exercise in frazzled provision. It was a month of financial stretching but also of finding ways of making beauty from what was present. The most precious of moments were times of connection--like having God's hand on my shoulder both for a gentle slow-down chastising and for a protective "I've got this" reminder. I was overwhelmed by the kindness of some loving friends and saw Jesus compassionately at work as Raúl and I came out on the other side of December stronger and closer, working together towards greater empathy. And, in the midst of all of that, here are a few more things that occupied my time as well:

What I Read:

Because I spent a lot of time at home this month, I did get some quality reading done. I haven't yet finished a lot of the books that I've started, but here are the ones I did finish in December.

Image result for God is Good Bill bible study thumbnail amazon
From amazon.com


1) God Is Good Bible Study by Bill Johnson. This is the study that we did at Ladies' Bible Study this year, and it was so timely for me. I've talked about it some in previous posts. While there is just a regular book out, this book we did in collaboration with a series of teaching videos. It seems like everyone from Bethel dishes out wisdom nuggets a mile a minute, so a common complaint in our group was that everything moved too fast to be able to digest. This is why I've found that the pause button to be my friend when it comes to teachings from Bethel Church. This book talks a lot about how we humans skew the nature of God based on our circumstances and how we can get back to a theology centered on God's goodness through the relentless pursuit of close relationship with God. It addresses that age old of dilemma of what to do or think when bad things happen to good people, and it challenges common cliches that often paint God in an unfair, negative light. For me, it was apt for helping me shift to a better attitude and to help me deliberately take steps to renewing my mindset and recovering my closeness with God despite circumstances. It is Bible-centered, examining both the Old and New Testament, Creation and the life of Jesus. The accompanying questions also made for some good group discussions and participation. All in all, worth it to study.


Image result for bittersweet shauna niequist
From amazon.com

2) Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. If you've been reading this blog, you already know that I've read a few of Shauna Niequist's books now, and I like her style. It's personal and vulnerable. It ties in the mundane with the sacred. And it's emotionally honest with short, easy-to-relate-to chapters. She writes during a season of her life where she is dealing with the pain of miscarriages, the anxiousness of moving, and the warmth of close friends and comfort food. Bittersweet is about what living looks like when there isn't always the nicely packaged happy ending we expect and how to pick oneself up and continue onward in God's divine grace.

Image result for life of the beloved henri nouwen
From goodreads.com

3) Life of the Beloved by Henri J. M. Nouwen. I received this book from the Women of Purpose Retreat I went to in November. I've read a few of Nouwen's books, mainly after reading Brennan Manning books that talked of Henri Nouwen, and he's just such an honest soul. He is undoubtedly an intellectual, and his style reflects that. But, he's also a spiritual, vulnerable person who expresses himself both beautifully but with genuine heartbreak and honesty. This book was a quick read as it reads as personal correspondence though in essay form. The premise of the book started when Nouwen was challenged by a non-believer friend to express what it means to be a follower of Jesus and a believer in something sacred and godly. I was especially captivated by their initial meetup and how they became friends. While this book essentially failed in its original purpose, it serves as a grounding reminder of what the life of a believer is at its heart. With chapters centered on single words like "blessed" and "broken," it addresses with simplicity what living as God's chosen beloved people looks like. During the retreat, we did some reflection exercises to better capture how we are the beloved, how we are broken, how we are chosen, how we are blessed, and how we are given to others. Much like many of Nouwen's works, it presents old concepts with a new perspective and is a calming voice.


Image result for poverty riches and wealth kris vallotton
From amazon.com


4) Poverty, Riches, and Wealth by Kris Vallotton. I am not someone normally drawn to books about finances or businesses. I don't feel much of a pull to entrepreneurship, and I avoid prosperity gospel like the plague. With that said, when you're living in a country where one of the biggest difficulties for people you care about is unemployment, if you care about the whole person, it's hard to ignore issues of finances and physical need. So, I decided to get this book. And, given that my word for 2019 is "abundance," I'm glad that I did. I enjoy Kris Vallotton's writing style. He effortlessly weaves personal stories and Biblical revelation, personal experiences and Scriptures, to make compelling points. As someone married to someone who owns a small business, I found there were lots of points that I wanted to share with my husband that I felt like could help his business improve. And, on just a level of better understanding humanity, I was impressed by many of the psychological lessons Vallotton learned through God's leading while he was the boss at various of his own small businesses. It's the kind of book I'm still digesting and will hold onto in order to teach others. I really appreciated the practical advice that often isn't present in over-spiritualized, self-help books. I was also relieved as I felt like this book adequately encourages readers to really grasp what it means to be a child of God--what that holds in terms of resources but what that also holds in terms of responsibility. One of my biggest gripes with prosperity gospel is that it ignores the responsibility aspect of Kingdom resources. Bethel Church's theology in as much as I've heard it is always that God blesses us so that we are equipped to bless and reach others. There's nothing selfish about it. Here are some excerpts I noted:
"Wealth is light in the darkness, healing in sickness, prosperity in poverty, wholeness in brokenness, favor in obscurity, love for the unlovely, beauty for ashes, and victors among victims. ... Wealth is radical generosity, extraordinary compassion, sacrificial giving, and profound humility."

"'Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.' (3 John 2). John concluded that the foundation of all prosperity and health is relegated to our soul's prosperity. In other words, our soul's prosperity determines the level of wealth and health that we experience." 

5) "Meet Me in the Middle" I recently posted this on Facebook, but it's worth highlighting again. It's an article that has resonated with many missionary friends because it portrays what it's like to walk the tightrope of being content when you're balancing two socioeconomic worlds of expectations. It's hard to be the wealthy in the world with great poverty, and it's hard to be the poor in the world of great wealth--all at the same time. It's worth reading even just to understand the thoughts missionaries are often wrestling. Here is the link: https://thingswedidntknow.com/2018/12/29/meet-me-in-the-middle/


What I Watched:

1) Cash Cab. The premise of the show for those who don't know is that a cab (in this case in NYC) picks up unsuspecting passengers and offers them the chance to play a trivia game, winning money all the way to their destination. They have as long as it takes to get to their destination to amass money from their correct answers, but they only get three strikes. After three strikes, they get kicked out of the cab wherever they are. They also have the option of phoning a friend for help or polling someone on the street once when they're stuck. I like to watch shows while I'm cooking sometimes because of my inner multi-tasker. I'm not saying that is the greatest habit, but it is what it is. With so much non-stop cooking, it was nice to "watch" aka more so listen to something light-hearted that I could learn from while I was cooking.

2) The Final Table. This show is on Netflix and is a cooking showdown starring pairs of accomplished chefs cooking together to compete as they're challenged to recreate their own versions of various national dishes. The judges are national celebrities of the countries they're in as well as food critics. I like to watch the Food Network sometimes--I was the nerd kid growing up who preferred to watch Iron Chef America instead of the Disney channel. So, this show was right up my alley. It has a similar, high-stakes feel to Iron Chef America and similar competition layout. It was fascinating to learn about typical dishes from different places. If you like cooking competitions, it's worth the watch.

3) Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The first four seasons have been on Netflix here for quite a while, but since I'm not always a fan of Andy Samberg's flavor of humor, I was hesitant to watch it. But, when I finally gave it a try one day during a stressful week when I was in need of some humor, I was delightfully surprised. I really enjoy comedies with ensemble casts that exude a sense of family camaraderie. I loved Scrubs, The Office, and New Girl for that reason, and Brooklyn Nine Nine, though sometimes silly, carries that same magic of a cast that just works so well together. There is no one character that shines more than another. Each one has his or her own developed quirkiness that contributes to the humor. I especially enjoy the Halloween heist episodes.


What I Made:
As previously mentioned, I spent a lot of time this month cooking. Some of these dishes were tried and true traditions and some were new attempts that turned out well.

1) Layered Bean Dip. When you're cooking for another culture, generally, you're safe if you can provide dishes that use accepted, common ingredients even if you present them in a new way. In Honduras, beans are a given. They're also cheap, so when you're trying to stretch a budget, they are essential. Rather than buying canned beans, I just used cooked red beans that I seasoned and pureed. I cooked them down in the oven for a bit in the casserole dish then added some avocado sauce. I say sauce because it's thinner than guacamole and incorporates either sour cream or yogurt into it. Then I added diced green onion, tomatoes, cilantro, peppers (both red and green), and shredded cheddar cheese. I did not add black olive as most recipes call for because it's not an ingredient accepted by the masses here. If you need some inspiration, here is the recipe I took some references from:
https://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/7-layer-bean-dip/

2) Buttermilk Marinated Roasted Chicken. Making this was a product the crossing of an unfortunate circumstance with an impressive resource. On the "Heat" episode of Salt Fat Acid Heat on Netflix, Samin Nosrat makes a buttermilk marinated chicken that she says is her absolute favorite. I've already sung the praises of the show and now I sing the praises of this chicken. Buttermilk is not something you find in a supermarket here...ever. But, you can add vinegar to regular milk for most recipes, and it turns out passably the same. Normally, I don't think I could bring myself to use a whole gallon of milk for something so trivial as marinating a chicken. But, it just so happened that an entire, unopened, unexpired gallon of milk in our refrigerator was off. This, unfortunately, is very common here in Honduras. It wasn't so off that it was chunky (blech), but it was off enough to be unpleasant for drinking. I meant to do all kinds of things with that milk--make alfredo sauce to freeze, make muffins, etc. But time got the best of me. So finally, I bought two whole chickens and decided we'd see what this buttermilk marinated chicken was all about. I added vinegar to the milk to get the whole buttermilk effect and used up that entire gallon of milk. So. Worth. It. This time, I followed the recipe to the T, and while it seems entirely too simple, it was some of the best chicken I've ever had. I may or may not have eaten a whole chicken by myself in the course of a Sunday. Here is the recipe: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1018731-buttermilk-marinated-roast-chicken PLEASE do not skip the salting step...or marinate for a short period of time. Both are so key to making the chicken excellent.

3) Chai Cookies. Chai tea is my favorite warm beverage. I love spicy-sweet things, so it only seemed natural to try a cookie that embodies something I already like. I only wish I would've made more batches as these cookies turned out so nice. They're similar to a molasses cookie in terms of spice, but they're softer in texture and in taste. For the most part, I used this recipe: https://www.bakedbyanintrovert.com/chai-cookies/  But since I saw a Martha Stewart special where she made chai Mexican wedding cookies and added black tea right into the batter, I did the same right out of a couple of tea bags. It gave it an extra touch, I think. Full disclosure--I didn't have allspice, but it didn't matter. Still good. I made a bunch of other kinds of cookies over the holiday, but these were my favorite.

4) Nannie's Salsa. Every time there is a family event, my grandmother, or Nannie as we call her, lays an impressive spread to graze on. She has chips and dip, a tray of vegetables, cut up pineapple, an assortment of nuts, chocolates, and her salsa. She is one upbeat, active lady who still finds the energy to cook a large meal after all of that assembly of a spread. After I had spent a week cooking for our small group Christmas dinner, I was happy with my choice to not cook a big meal for Christmas Eve guests but rather just have a grazing spread. I made punch (not as much of a hit as in years past--oh well). I had hot chocolate. I had cookies. I made a veggie tray with dip and a fruit salad. I also made buffalo chicken dip--more on that in a second. Also, joining the spread was Nannie's salsa. I don't actually have a recipe for Nannie's salsa, so I don't know how she seasons, but I knew the general ingredients and went to town with those. Simple yet once again using accepted ingredients--whole beans (red in our case), cooked corn cut from the cob, chopped cilantro, diced red onion, diced tomato, diced peppers (both colored and green for us), and minced jalapeño. I seasoned with ample lime juice, cumin, salt, pepper, and Honduran "especias" which is a blend of cumin, bay leaf, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, and sugar.

5) Buffalo Chicken Dip. As previously mentioned, this was part of our Christmas Eve spread, and it's common for it to make an appearance at my parents' house for birthday parties or New Year's Eve. It's also very simple. Normally, this is made with canned chicken, but canned goods are expensive here. So, I just roasted a whole chicken, and my lovely husband broke that whole chicken down. If you want a more liquid dip, probably don't use a whole chicken, but we did, and I don't really have any complaints. I did not have Ranch dressing--a holiday oversight on my part. So, I just whipped up a dressing similar to Ranch using what I had on hand. I also used a Mexican (Tex-Mex) blend of shredded cheese. Here is a recipe for reference: https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/buffalo-chicken-dip/

6) Stovetop Hot Chocolate. Once you've had real hot chocolate made from cocoa powder, milk, sugar, and chocolate chips, you'll never want to go back to those sad, little packets. Most of the recipes I saw used cream, and that just seems overboard to me. So, I used milk--granted whole milk--but I told myself it was better than using cream. I used a recipe on this...and wished I hadn't in terms of the sugar. It was too sweet, and even my sweets-loving Hondurans agreed. So, here is the recipe, but I recommend cutting down on the sugar: https://www.livewellbakeoften.com/stove-top-hot-chocolate/  I also used chocolate chips instead of a chocolate bar. Even with the oversweetness, that was easily remedied by adding more milk. And, just like that, I have another beverage in the running with chai tea as a favorite. Also, if you're too lazy to reheat this mixture if you have leftovers, you have homemade chocolate milk. You're welcome.


Favorites:
This season was full of so many activities--movie night, game night, an outing to a Christmas village, a Christmas party, Christmas shopping, Christmas cooking, family gatherings, normal small group meetings, and lots of additional unexpected drama that comes with humans. By the end of all of that, my inner introvert was so done. So, my favorites mostly reflect what I enjoy about this seasons which is stillness, quiet, real connection, and rest.

Image result for speak out
From walmart.com

1) Speak Out. If you'll recall, this was on my wish list. Around Black Friday, this pretty hilarious game went on sale. So I bought it, and we hosted a game night for our small group. To say it was a hit would be an absolute understatement. Such competition. Such laughs. Such frustration. Such drool. It was fun for me to be able to share something that has brought joy to my family with my friends here in Honduras. A little chaotic but laughter is good medicine.

2) Christmas morning video call with the family. I am thankful for technology and the way it can connect me to my family when I miss them the most. Raúl and I spent Christmas morning video playing the White Elephant gift game with my family. (The wonders of online shopping and Whatsapp making that possible.) And, I was able to see my family members open their gifts from me. It wasn't the same, but it was as close as I could get to feeling like a part of the family festivities.

3) The restful days after Christmas. I had already decided that while I was going to facilitate fun and togetherness for everyone else for the weeks leading up to Christmas, after Christmas, I was mostly going to let myself be a hermit enjoying the coziness of my home sans guests. I read and enjoyed my new study Bible. I laughed at Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I watched a movie with Raúl and had some quality conversations with him. I wore cozy sweaters and thick socks. I drank hot chocolate and ate leftovers. And I let my brain try to process all of the crazy leading up to the holidays while also trying to process all that 2019 will bring. A true reset before non-profit reports, tax paperwork, and a massive house cleaning will start. As a result, I felt more connected to Jesus, to the true reason of Christmas, and to the why for all of the things I do here.

I hope that your December was filled with both joy and stillness--a chance to rejoice and a chance to reflect. And I hope your 2019 is already gearing up to be a year of crisp clean air clearing your mind, bathing your lungs in fresh peace, and inviting you to keep walking forward however fast or slow the pace may be.

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