Receiving Rest: February 2020 Recap
The theme of this month was choosing to see how God was going before me in the midst of many situations that required perseverance or wisdom and also learning to find rest in the midst of the busyness. The truth of the matter is that sometimes we do just need to block off time to retreat into the Lord's presence, but we also need to learn how to abide with Him and invite Him into our messy everyday lives. February was full of people and their needs, and as is the case with all of us humans, nothing is very cut and dry. We're complex creatures, and sometimes sorting out motivations and heartaches and the best way to help others is quite taxing on us emotionally and spiritually. But this is part of being the Body of Christ. The more we learn to do it well, the more we can lean into the truth that God already went before us in each situation. He sent Jesus to walk through many of the same kinds of mess that we will encounter in our relationships. And in the middle of questions and fears and wanting to discern the right thing to do, He can also give us His divine rest. When I feel like I have reached the end of myself--which, let's be honest, as an introvert, happens often--, I can get frustrated and angrily push forward, blaming others or trying to be a control freak. Or, I can sit back and settle in with the Lord, observing how each one of us is being molded like clay by our Creator. It is hard to watch people that we love suffer, even when they suffer from the consequences of their own poor choices. It may even be a temptation to want to rescue someone from those consequences rather than walking alongside them with encouragement and accountability, spurring them on to growth in knowing their power of personal responsibility. It can feel heavy to see injustices happening to people we care about, and it can be hard to stand firm on Romans 8:28 that even this He is working for His glory and our good. It can be hard to separate ourselves from the manipulation of others who are still learning they have the same access to the Heavenly Father and His resources as we do. Sometimes, it is tempting to take it personally and want to hide or lash out. How often do we feel like we simply are not enough?
In the midst of many situations in the last couple of months, I have found myself struggling to get to sleep some nights. Insomnia is not normal for me. Though I am a light sleeper, I am usually the kind of person who can fall asleep quickly. Yet, when I haven't had enough time to process the situations in my life vying for my energy, sometimes my brain wants to insist that bed time is the time to do that. Even more so in the last couple of months, the occasional sleepless night has not been driven by my thoughts but by my body struggling to settle down physically. It has been like all of my systems are on high alert. Thus, as I have been processing the root causes of this issue with God, I have been encouraged by the phrase God says in Exodus, "And I will give you rest." It's true that we have to do our part to make rest a priority. There are aspects of time that we control. But there will also be times where we are doing due diligence to set aside time to rest, and rest internally or physically seems elusive. We can't will ourselves to sleep even though we're so tired. Our thoughts seem to be running away and holding them captive seems to take so much effort. We may feel our heart pounding in our ears, or we may sense an oppression hovering over our beds at night or over our emotions in waking hours. And this has been the comfort for me--I don't have to drum up rest. I don't have to get angry that the minutes I should be sleeping are ticking away. I don't have to lament that I don't have a Benadryl to take to settle down my systems. I can reach out my hand and receive what He is freely giving--His rest. Sometimes that may not always look like sleep even when we desperately feel like we need it. But, if we will put our eyes on Him and simply receive, laying even the desire to generate our own rest at His feet, He will give us a peace that settles sweetly into every corner of our minds and bodies. He will quiet the voices and needs on every side. He will build a hedge of relief in the knowledge that He is the Savior, and we are not.
What I Read:
From amazon.com
1) Stronger Than the Struggle by Havilah Cunnington. This is another book that I don't specifically remember buying. I hadn't read any of Havilah Cunnington's books before though I had heard of her through Bethel Church. This book was really good. I appreciate her stories and down-to-earth writing style. There was a lot of timely encouragement for me in these pages. The aspect of this book that stuck out for me and was echoed in so many other places this month was the idea that our brains can either operate in a self-preservation, defensive more or a curious/discovery growth mode. Most of the premise of this book is spiritual warfare, but it's incredibly practical and uses Havilah's life stories to connect her themes with real life. Here are some excerpts that made their way into my journal:
"I asked him what a lifestyle of true trust looked like, and he said, "Havilah, true trust is believing my intentions toward you are always good."
". . . each of our brains has two modes of response to the outside world: a defensive system and a reward system. . . . While threats put us in defense mode, finding delight or potential rewards and opportunities in our situations puts us in discovery mode. In defense mode, our focus is to protect ourselves. In discovery mode, our focus is to open up and learn."
"Always being in defense mode doesn't just hinder us; it stops us. We become limited when making important life choices because we only perceive the threat. . . . We weren't made to be one fight away from defeat all the time. If we can move from defense mode to discovery mode, our ability to see the reward will explicitly empower our daily lives. We will go from feeling as if we're always battling to have a general sense of winning."
"Let's get back to the uncomplicated gospel, the straightforward certainty Christ came to bring. Let's get back to claiming our spiritual authority, believing that the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead is now living in us. Let's get back to winning every day."
"Forgive me . . . for believing my performance dictates my purpose. I want to break up with the lie that says anything or anyone can control my destiny over your plans. . . . You hold my future. You are not looking for perfection. My destiny will continue whether my performance is perfect or not."
"Irresponsible people will always believe their circumstances define them. They find it impossible to see past their own limitations. . . . They see themselves as victims."
From amazon.com
2) You Are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly. I picked up this book on a whim when I was in the States because the forward was written by Annie F. Downs. I listen to Annie F. Downs' podcast from time to time, and I also enjoyed the premise presented by the title. This book is definitely more so in the self-help/spiritual category rather than the practical/entrepreneurial category that I suppose the title could suggest, and it is filled with great nuggets of wisdom. Her greatest premise is that each one of us is the girl for the job that we find ourselves in primarily because we can be fueled by His equipping of us and His strength for longevity. Here are some of those nuggets of wisdom:
"If I worked only based on what I can do well in my own strength, I'd never have children, get married, do ministry, drive a car, write books, love my neighbors . . . I would never live. I would never love. I would never taste abundance."
"If we're going to make a lasting impact, if we're going to partner with God to build eternity brick by brick, day by day, for the glory of God, the starting line is His capacity and His character. The terra firma beneath our feet will be His promises and His purposes for our lives; we won't have to fight to find them or look further than where He's placed us. And the room we've been given to run the path marked out for us isn't limited by our lack of ability but made and intentionally productive by His enduring capacity. Simply put, if we lean our full weight on Him, we'll go as far as He can go, and we'll fight as hard as He can fight."
"We should be aware of anyone on mission, including ourselves, who speaks more of what they've been made for or what they want to build and less of the people for whom they're burdened. We should pause and pray when the conversations in our lives revolve more around our giftings and less around the groaning in our hearts for those God has given us to lead."
From amazon.com
3) Gringos in Honduras by Guillermo Yuscaran. I don't really know how this book ended up in my possession, but it was probably a hand-me-down from another missionary who moved away. I have been fascinated once again in recent years with Honduran history and picked up this book primarily for the Honduran aspect of the title and lesser so for the North Americans depicted in the biographical profiles. Each chapter covers a North American who was somehow present in Honduras or involved in Honduras' history. I especially enjoyed the story of Wilson Popenoe who worked for the United States Department of Agriculture and helped pioneer the agricultural university that is here in El Zamorano, Honduras. It's unique to know the origins of a place that I've passed or driven through several times. I personally don't think I would have chosen to write about North Americans and their effect on Honduras given the wealth of history Honduras has to choose from, but what I did glean from this book is just how intertwined North Americans and Hondurans have been for such a long time. Below is a quote from one of the subjects talked about, Chet Thomas:
"What I've learned in community development, and often the hard way, is this: You can't give people anything . . . they must earn it themselves; pay for it . . . that way, it's theirs. Too much giving, donating, providing . . . erodes initiative and ultimately, human dignity."
From amazon.com
4) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. In my desire to be more proactive in reading fiction, I picked this book up a while back on a whim because I had heard of it before. The novel is written from the perspective of a young man on the spectrum and the way that he approaches a local mystery which leads him to discover hidden truths about his own life. (It does have language.) The perspective is really unique and gives a glimpse into how the mind of someone on the spectrum may process emotions, information, and challenges. I also enjoyed how the plot served mainly to explore the growth of the protagonist.
From amazon.com
5) The Quest by Beth Moore. This is the book that we just finished in my ladies' Bible study. It centers around intimacy with God and specifically uses questions and Biblical stories where people asked questions as a means of drawing nearer to God. I enjoyed Beth Moore's honest writing in this book and the invitation to see the Bible and familiar stories from new perspectives. Here is the quote that most stuck out to me from the book:
"Wrestling with God can be its own form of intimacy."
What I Ate:
1) Tex-Mex Dressing. This dressing came about just because I was looking for something to spice up a boring salad. It had olive oil, lime juice, tahini, honey, canned jalapeños, chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, just a little bit of mustard, chopped fresh cilantro, and minced garlic. I blended it all together, and it was a game changer.
Photo by Rita E.
2) Spaghetti Bolognese. I had never made true bolognese sauce before that I could remember. It has been a busy month, so very little cooking has been happening. But, I had this on my list as my new dish to try for the month. It really did not disappoint! The good news is that I was able to make it in a series of steps as I had time, and the sauce can also be frozen. I started by dicing carrots, celery, and onion to make a mirepoix that is often the base of many Italian sauces. I also pureed some tomatoes and chopped some rosemary and basil and minced some garlic. There are a lot of differing recipes, so I pulled from a few. My bolognese had the above sauteed in olive oil as well as ground beef, ground sausage, oregano, dried parsley, red wine, beef stock, red pepper flakes, a few tablespoons of tomato paste, some tomato sauce, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, a sprinkle of sugar, salt, and pepper. This is the kind of sauce that really needs adequate time to simmer and meld the flavors, and since I didn't have ample time, I decided that it could do all of that simmering in the crockpot. I served it with plain old spaghetti noodles, freshly chopped parsley and basil, parmesan cheese, and buttered French bread. It was really good. Here are some recipes I pulled from: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/best-spaghetti-bolognese-recipe
https://www.recipetineats.com/spaghetti-bolognese/
https://www.spendwithpennies.com/slow-cooker-spaghetti-bolognese/
Photo by Sheri Silver.
3) Cobb Salad. My English class this month is learning food vocabulary and about various foods that we might eat in the US. This was what they voted that they wanted to try. Lucky for me, it's also pretty simple. Our version had leaf lettuce, avocado, bacon, blue cheese, green onion, tomatoes, cucumber, hard-boiled egg, and diced baked chicken. The class was pleased.
4) La CreperÃa Thai Crepe. This was probably the best food I had all month. There is a restaurant here in Tegucigalpa called La CreperÃa that serves a wide variety of food but specializes in both savory and sweet crepes. My friends recommended the savory Thai chicken crepe for it's varying textures and especially for the Thai-style sauce that has just a little bit of a kick to it. It was so good. It's the kind of food that I want to learn to make at home, so I can have it whenever I want.
What I Watched:
1) Lost in Space. This is one of the few shows that Raúl and I watch together because we both appreciate the story line and characters. This show takes from the classic in that a family headed to a set destination in outer space encounters some unexpected truths and obstacles and meets a robot that affects their life course. This season ended much of the isolation of the Robinson family and saw them re-united with the people who were also en route to their outer space settlement. The season ended with a cliffhanger and the great premise for a next chapter in the adventure. It's a wholesome show that's family friendly.
2) The Chef Show. This show follows actor/director Jon Favreau and his chef buddy, Roy Choi, as they embark on cooking adventures in different locations and with different friends. (It does have language.) I appreciate their banter and seeing Jon Favreau learning alongside his chef friends, and this show always jumpstarts my own cooking creativity. I have made some recipes from past seasons, and they are good.
Favorites:
1) Good Community Time. This month was full of a lot of intentional community time both with new friends and with people we've had a relationship with for a long time. It's a blessing to meet new people with whom you can connect easily. It's also special to deepen the relationships that fill your day-to-day life. This month all of that started with intention--hospitality, facilitating things like game nights or dinners, and good conversation.
Songs on Repeat This Month:
“The Father’s House” by Cory Asbury
“Goodness of God” by Bethel Music
“On My Side” by Kim Walker-Smith
“Real Thing” by TRIBL featuring Dante Bowe
“Gideon” by Jason Upton
“Take Courage” by Bethel Music
“Lord, Let Your Glory Fall” by Bethel Music
“In Jesus’ Name” by Darlene Zschech
“Si Te Tengo a Ti Lo Tengo Todo” by Marcos Brunet
“Tú Nunca Cambias” by Gateway Worship featuring Lilly Goodman
“Tu Bondad” by New Wine
“Dios de Maravillas” by Christine D’Clario
Here is the list to the playlist on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERDDFsw5e_oTn7ecwB09V5gUApXe5urP
I pray that as your February comes to a close that you would receive His rest and be able to walk in curiosity, discovery, and hope rather than anticipating every threat. I hope that you will be fueled by the truth that He is enough and that He has given you all that you need to serve where you are in His strength. May you be surrounded by rich community and fight through the mess to preserve relationship with others. May the Lord grant you the wisdom to see from different perspectives with compassion. And may you feel free to wrestle with the Lord and willingly express your questions to Him, knowing that He is big enough to handle them and that this, too, is part of relationship with Him. May you sense His goodness running after you every day as spring begins to emerge. May you feel God smiling over your baby steps and granting you grace in the moments where you don't know what to do. And may you experience deeply in your soul the truth that He won't let you go, that He is truly good, and that it brings Him pleasure to give you His Kingdom.
In the midst of many situations in the last couple of months, I have found myself struggling to get to sleep some nights. Insomnia is not normal for me. Though I am a light sleeper, I am usually the kind of person who can fall asleep quickly. Yet, when I haven't had enough time to process the situations in my life vying for my energy, sometimes my brain wants to insist that bed time is the time to do that. Even more so in the last couple of months, the occasional sleepless night has not been driven by my thoughts but by my body struggling to settle down physically. It has been like all of my systems are on high alert. Thus, as I have been processing the root causes of this issue with God, I have been encouraged by the phrase God says in Exodus, "And I will give you rest." It's true that we have to do our part to make rest a priority. There are aspects of time that we control. But there will also be times where we are doing due diligence to set aside time to rest, and rest internally or physically seems elusive. We can't will ourselves to sleep even though we're so tired. Our thoughts seem to be running away and holding them captive seems to take so much effort. We may feel our heart pounding in our ears, or we may sense an oppression hovering over our beds at night or over our emotions in waking hours. And this has been the comfort for me--I don't have to drum up rest. I don't have to get angry that the minutes I should be sleeping are ticking away. I don't have to lament that I don't have a Benadryl to take to settle down my systems. I can reach out my hand and receive what He is freely giving--His rest. Sometimes that may not always look like sleep even when we desperately feel like we need it. But, if we will put our eyes on Him and simply receive, laying even the desire to generate our own rest at His feet, He will give us a peace that settles sweetly into every corner of our minds and bodies. He will quiet the voices and needs on every side. He will build a hedge of relief in the knowledge that He is the Savior, and we are not.
What I Read:
From amazon.com
1) Stronger Than the Struggle by Havilah Cunnington. This is another book that I don't specifically remember buying. I hadn't read any of Havilah Cunnington's books before though I had heard of her through Bethel Church. This book was really good. I appreciate her stories and down-to-earth writing style. There was a lot of timely encouragement for me in these pages. The aspect of this book that stuck out for me and was echoed in so many other places this month was the idea that our brains can either operate in a self-preservation, defensive more or a curious/discovery growth mode. Most of the premise of this book is spiritual warfare, but it's incredibly practical and uses Havilah's life stories to connect her themes with real life. Here are some excerpts that made their way into my journal:
"I asked him what a lifestyle of true trust looked like, and he said, "Havilah, true trust is believing my intentions toward you are always good."
". . . each of our brains has two modes of response to the outside world: a defensive system and a reward system. . . . While threats put us in defense mode, finding delight or potential rewards and opportunities in our situations puts us in discovery mode. In defense mode, our focus is to protect ourselves. In discovery mode, our focus is to open up and learn."
"Always being in defense mode doesn't just hinder us; it stops us. We become limited when making important life choices because we only perceive the threat. . . . We weren't made to be one fight away from defeat all the time. If we can move from defense mode to discovery mode, our ability to see the reward will explicitly empower our daily lives. We will go from feeling as if we're always battling to have a general sense of winning."
"Let's get back to the uncomplicated gospel, the straightforward certainty Christ came to bring. Let's get back to claiming our spiritual authority, believing that the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead is now living in us. Let's get back to winning every day."
"Forgive me . . . for believing my performance dictates my purpose. I want to break up with the lie that says anything or anyone can control my destiny over your plans. . . . You hold my future. You are not looking for perfection. My destiny will continue whether my performance is perfect or not."
"Irresponsible people will always believe their circumstances define them. They find it impossible to see past their own limitations. . . . They see themselves as victims."
From amazon.com
2) You Are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly. I picked up this book on a whim when I was in the States because the forward was written by Annie F. Downs. I listen to Annie F. Downs' podcast from time to time, and I also enjoyed the premise presented by the title. This book is definitely more so in the self-help/spiritual category rather than the practical/entrepreneurial category that I suppose the title could suggest, and it is filled with great nuggets of wisdom. Her greatest premise is that each one of us is the girl for the job that we find ourselves in primarily because we can be fueled by His equipping of us and His strength for longevity. Here are some of those nuggets of wisdom:
"If I worked only based on what I can do well in my own strength, I'd never have children, get married, do ministry, drive a car, write books, love my neighbors . . . I would never live. I would never love. I would never taste abundance."
"If we're going to make a lasting impact, if we're going to partner with God to build eternity brick by brick, day by day, for the glory of God, the starting line is His capacity and His character. The terra firma beneath our feet will be His promises and His purposes for our lives; we won't have to fight to find them or look further than where He's placed us. And the room we've been given to run the path marked out for us isn't limited by our lack of ability but made and intentionally productive by His enduring capacity. Simply put, if we lean our full weight on Him, we'll go as far as He can go, and we'll fight as hard as He can fight."
"We should be aware of anyone on mission, including ourselves, who speaks more of what they've been made for or what they want to build and less of the people for whom they're burdened. We should pause and pray when the conversations in our lives revolve more around our giftings and less around the groaning in our hearts for those God has given us to lead."
3) Gringos in Honduras by Guillermo Yuscaran. I don't really know how this book ended up in my possession, but it was probably a hand-me-down from another missionary who moved away. I have been fascinated once again in recent years with Honduran history and picked up this book primarily for the Honduran aspect of the title and lesser so for the North Americans depicted in the biographical profiles. Each chapter covers a North American who was somehow present in Honduras or involved in Honduras' history. I especially enjoyed the story of Wilson Popenoe who worked for the United States Department of Agriculture and helped pioneer the agricultural university that is here in El Zamorano, Honduras. It's unique to know the origins of a place that I've passed or driven through several times. I personally don't think I would have chosen to write about North Americans and their effect on Honduras given the wealth of history Honduras has to choose from, but what I did glean from this book is just how intertwined North Americans and Hondurans have been for such a long time. Below is a quote from one of the subjects talked about, Chet Thomas:
"What I've learned in community development, and often the hard way, is this: You can't give people anything . . . they must earn it themselves; pay for it . . . that way, it's theirs. Too much giving, donating, providing . . . erodes initiative and ultimately, human dignity."
From amazon.com
4) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. In my desire to be more proactive in reading fiction, I picked this book up a while back on a whim because I had heard of it before. The novel is written from the perspective of a young man on the spectrum and the way that he approaches a local mystery which leads him to discover hidden truths about his own life. (It does have language.) The perspective is really unique and gives a glimpse into how the mind of someone on the spectrum may process emotions, information, and challenges. I also enjoyed how the plot served mainly to explore the growth of the protagonist.
From amazon.com
5) The Quest by Beth Moore. This is the book that we just finished in my ladies' Bible study. It centers around intimacy with God and specifically uses questions and Biblical stories where people asked questions as a means of drawing nearer to God. I enjoyed Beth Moore's honest writing in this book and the invitation to see the Bible and familiar stories from new perspectives. Here is the quote that most stuck out to me from the book:
"Wrestling with God can be its own form of intimacy."
What I Ate:
1) Tex-Mex Dressing. This dressing came about just because I was looking for something to spice up a boring salad. It had olive oil, lime juice, tahini, honey, canned jalapeños, chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, just a little bit of mustard, chopped fresh cilantro, and minced garlic. I blended it all together, and it was a game changer.
2) Spaghetti Bolognese. I had never made true bolognese sauce before that I could remember. It has been a busy month, so very little cooking has been happening. But, I had this on my list as my new dish to try for the month. It really did not disappoint! The good news is that I was able to make it in a series of steps as I had time, and the sauce can also be frozen. I started by dicing carrots, celery, and onion to make a mirepoix that is often the base of many Italian sauces. I also pureed some tomatoes and chopped some rosemary and basil and minced some garlic. There are a lot of differing recipes, so I pulled from a few. My bolognese had the above sauteed in olive oil as well as ground beef, ground sausage, oregano, dried parsley, red wine, beef stock, red pepper flakes, a few tablespoons of tomato paste, some tomato sauce, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, a sprinkle of sugar, salt, and pepper. This is the kind of sauce that really needs adequate time to simmer and meld the flavors, and since I didn't have ample time, I decided that it could do all of that simmering in the crockpot. I served it with plain old spaghetti noodles, freshly chopped parsley and basil, parmesan cheese, and buttered French bread. It was really good. Here are some recipes I pulled from: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/best-spaghetti-bolognese-recipe
https://www.recipetineats.com/spaghetti-bolognese/
https://www.spendwithpennies.com/slow-cooker-spaghetti-bolognese/
Photo by Sheri Silver.
3) Cobb Salad. My English class this month is learning food vocabulary and about various foods that we might eat in the US. This was what they voted that they wanted to try. Lucky for me, it's also pretty simple. Our version had leaf lettuce, avocado, bacon, blue cheese, green onion, tomatoes, cucumber, hard-boiled egg, and diced baked chicken. The class was pleased.
4) La CreperÃa Thai Crepe. This was probably the best food I had all month. There is a restaurant here in Tegucigalpa called La CreperÃa that serves a wide variety of food but specializes in both savory and sweet crepes. My friends recommended the savory Thai chicken crepe for it's varying textures and especially for the Thai-style sauce that has just a little bit of a kick to it. It was so good. It's the kind of food that I want to learn to make at home, so I can have it whenever I want.
What I Watched:
1) Lost in Space. This is one of the few shows that Raúl and I watch together because we both appreciate the story line and characters. This show takes from the classic in that a family headed to a set destination in outer space encounters some unexpected truths and obstacles and meets a robot that affects their life course. This season ended much of the isolation of the Robinson family and saw them re-united with the people who were also en route to their outer space settlement. The season ended with a cliffhanger and the great premise for a next chapter in the adventure. It's a wholesome show that's family friendly.
2) The Chef Show. This show follows actor/director Jon Favreau and his chef buddy, Roy Choi, as they embark on cooking adventures in different locations and with different friends. (It does have language.) I appreciate their banter and seeing Jon Favreau learning alongside his chef friends, and this show always jumpstarts my own cooking creativity. I have made some recipes from past seasons, and they are good.
Favorites:
1) Good Community Time. This month was full of a lot of intentional community time both with new friends and with people we've had a relationship with for a long time. It's a blessing to meet new people with whom you can connect easily. It's also special to deepen the relationships that fill your day-to-day life. This month all of that started with intention--hospitality, facilitating things like game nights or dinners, and good conversation.
Songs on Repeat This Month:
“The Father’s House” by Cory Asbury
“Goodness of God” by Bethel Music
“On My Side” by Kim Walker-Smith
“Real Thing” by TRIBL featuring Dante Bowe
“Gideon” by Jason Upton
“Take Courage” by Bethel Music
“Lord, Let Your Glory Fall” by Bethel Music
“In Jesus’ Name” by Darlene Zschech
“Si Te Tengo a Ti Lo Tengo Todo” by Marcos Brunet
“Tú Nunca Cambias” by Gateway Worship featuring Lilly Goodman
“Tu Bondad” by New Wine
“Dios de Maravillas” by Christine D’Clario
Here is the list to the playlist on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERDDFsw5e_oTn7ecwB09V5gUApXe5urP
I pray that as your February comes to a close that you would receive His rest and be able to walk in curiosity, discovery, and hope rather than anticipating every threat. I hope that you will be fueled by the truth that He is enough and that He has given you all that you need to serve where you are in His strength. May you be surrounded by rich community and fight through the mess to preserve relationship with others. May the Lord grant you the wisdom to see from different perspectives with compassion. And may you feel free to wrestle with the Lord and willingly express your questions to Him, knowing that He is big enough to handle them and that this, too, is part of relationship with Him. May you sense His goodness running after you every day as spring begins to emerge. May you feel God smiling over your baby steps and granting you grace in the moments where you don't know what to do. And may you experience deeply in your soul the truth that He won't let you go, that He is truly good, and that it brings Him pleasure to give you His Kingdom.
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