Showing Promise: January 2020 Recap
I think every year I just kind of conveniently black out as to how busy and hectic and demanding the beginning of a new year tends to be. I have a general understanding of "hitting the ground running" and what I'm going to have to get done, but like a mother who has already given birth but forgets the pain, I just tend to forget how many situations will pop up unexpectedly and how much I tend to end up scrambling every January and February. This month has been exhausting in a lot of ways, which is why I'm thankful that yesterday and today were the first chance I've had to get off of the merry-go-round that's been spinning too fast (even if only just for a little bit). I have had a lot of great goals that just haven't been plausible with all of the pop-up situations. In Honduras, January is the month where students are registering for school and buying uniforms and school supplies. It's also the month to gather paperwork and prepare legal and financial reports for non-profits and ministries. And, for us, it's also the month of celebrating our non-profit's anniversary and electing new board members (every two years). Add to it this year that I had just gotten back from the States and came back to car repairs that needed to happen, a house that needed cleaned, a marriage that hadn't had the benefit of face-to-face time in over a month, and was dealing with the inevitable weepiness of leaving my family (with the added weight of my brother moving farther away), and let's just say, I'm glad it's February. Even with all of my above whining about chaotic circumstances, one thing that rings even louder in my ears is the way that a feeling of anticipation and promise has fought to emerge and stay afloat like a buoy. There are so many good things coming, so many relationships forming and strengthening, and so much promise on the horizon that maintaining that hope is something I feel like is worth fighting for more than ever before.
What I Read:
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1) Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion by Gregory Boyle. I picked up this book because it's kind of a go-to for those of us who work with young people affected by gangs and street life. Gregory Boyle is a Catholic priest who worked in Los Angeles with this same population and ended up starting Homeboy Industries as a means of providing hope for a new life for former gang members. Homeboy Industries provides employment, a support system, and a sense of family to people who are often rejected by society. I loved this book. There were so many things that gave me relief and made me nod my head because they are lessons I've also learned or heartbreaks I've also experienced even though the author has walked that road with much more time and experience. But, I also appreciated the tone as being so genuine and humble and not preachy. Lastly, the book is so true to culture. If anyone is interested in getting a glimpse into the slang and street culture especially connected to Latinos, this is a great book for stepping into that world. Here are some excerpts that stood out for me:
". . .anything worth doing is worth failing at."
"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a covenant between equals."
"If you surrender your need for results and outcomes, success becomes God's business. I find it hard enough to just be faithful."
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2) When We Were on Fire: A Memoir of Consuming Faith, Tangled Love, and Starting Over by Addie Zierman. Sometimes what strikes me about what I'm reading is actually the juxtaposition between two books I'm reading at the same time. That was definitely the case with this book and the one above. This book is a memoir from a writer who was raised in a Christian home, and though she is a little bit older than me, I could connect with so many of her evangelical experiences from the time that I was in middle school and high school. Christian culture is something that I feel like is living and evolving all the time even as we have a solid foundation on the tenets that God establishes in His Word. The culture during that time was was so well-intentioned but yet so crusading. In some ways, it was both funny and painful to read this memoir because her early years were so similar to my own. I grew up in a time of WWJD and See You at the Pole and I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and there was just a lot of crusading pressure--whether we placed it upon ourselves or it was imposed on us--to the point that there seemed to be a lot more emphasis on the external walking out of faith than on the internal relationship with a good God. I won't make that as a blanket statement. But I very much understand why Addie Zierman found herself spiraling into doubt and rebellion and self-sabotage because when our faith is so intentionally external and striving, it can lead to so much emptiness on the inside. This is because the actions don't flow from relationship with God but rather from the obligatory "this is what I'm supposed to do because that's what everyone says Christianity is." I felt compassion (not condescending pity) for Addie Zierman's journey through doubt and discernment back to faith because it echoed a lot of my own seasons of disillusionment, and I recognized that the primary reason that my life did not mirror her choices and full-blown spiral was primarily because of my family. Though still sometimes proponents of the cultural Christian leanings at the time, they was so intentional about the importance of family connection and emphasized close personal relationship with God as being the most important thing. And the reason why it was so interesting to be reading this book alongside Tattoos of the Heart is because Gregory Boyle is putting his faith into action, but he's doing so without illusions of grandeur. He isn't on a crusade of numbers or cultural revolution; he's loving well the Jesus that he finds in the person in front of him. Addie Zierman's book may be offensive to some, but it's also poignantly honest and worth reading.
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3) Making Small Groups Work: What Every Small Group Leader Needs to Know by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. This book is very straightforward and full of excellent information about leading small groups. They give very practical tips for how to deal with someone who wants to dominate every conversation, with someone who refuses to honestly share anything but the good parts of life, and with many other tricky scenarios we can encounter as we seek to facilitate genuine community. I will definitely be referring back to it again. Here are some excerpts that made their way into my journal.
"Most important, always begin with the transcendent purpose that all small groups share--the ministry of reconciliation . . . Your job is to bring people back to God and kind of life he created them for."
"Leave the results to God. While designing your small group, it is easy to slip into taking on responsibility for the fruits in its prospective members' lives. Let that burden rest with the members and God, where it belongs; they will ultimately determine how much growth, healing, and benefit comes. Your job is to provide a good set of elements that, if used, can cause growth."
Photo by Steve Tsang
1) Bean Soup. This month has been insanely busy, and when that is the case, soup is usually what I turn to. It does require a lump investment of time, but we can eat off a giant pot of soup over and over and over. Raúl loves soup, and if it's the kind of soup he likes, he will joyfully pick soup over anything else he could be eating. Bean soup is one of his favorites. There are any number of variations that one can make, and I tend to not make the same exact thing twice. So, this time, I started with a base of homemade chicken stock and added carrots, sweet potatoes, celery, chopped celery leaf, minced garlic, chopped cilantro, red beans, a can of chick peas, salt, pepper, cumin, and cut up pork loin I had previously roasted.
2) Buffalo Chicken Pasta. This recipe was quick, easy, and born of a need for convenience and the tempting scent of buffalo sauce. I essentially just combined cooked macaroni noodles, cut up carrots and celery, shredded chicken breast, chopped cilantro, Ranch dressing, salt, pepper, and buffalo sauce. It was a refreshing take on a pasta salad.
What I Watched:
1) The Crown. In case you live under a rock, The Crown is a show that depicts the reign of Queen Elizabeth with some creative license. The premise was to have the entire cast change after every two seasons. Now, the show will actually end after the fifth season. I actually started watching this back when Claire Foy was the Queen, and I wondered if Olivia Colman was going to have the same charm. Truly, she does even though her character's stance in life and ways of behaving in her unique circumstances makes her less likable than the season of the Queen's life that Claire Foy played. What I love about this show is that it gives me a glimpse into England's history in ways that I've never been taught or exposed to before. Granted, I always have to check and see what actually happened in history and what ended up being the invention of great writers. But, it makes the royal family more understandable and easier to relate to as the humans they are.
2) Unbelievable. I hesitated to mention this one a little bit just because it definitely isn't family-friendly (due to nudity, language, and the central story lines revolving around sexual assault), but it is an important story. This show, that was nominated for numerous awards, is based on a true story of a young lady who was charged with false testimony when she reported being raped. The show simultaneously follows two separate story lines, starting with the young lady, and a parallel story line of two female detectives who are trying to track down a serial rapist. Kaitlyn Dever plays the young lady charged with false testimony, and Merritt Wever and Toni Collette play the two detectives. The story is important because it sheds light on so many baffling aspects of the criminal justice system as it handles cases of rape, and it gives greater understanding as to why people can be hesitant to report sexual assault. I will say the chemistry as detective partners that Merritt Wever and Toni Collette have was so good that I am disappointed that this is a limited series because I'd love to watch them play these roles again.
3) The Good Place. I have pretty much loved this show from the get-go, and the show just ended. It is a comedy that follows the journey of four people in the afterlife, and each season is full of unexpected twists. One of the things I most appreciate about this show aside from the great chemistry among the actors and characters is the philosophical questions that get asked in such funny ways. You don't have to agree with the conclusions of theology that the writers come to in order to appreciate that there is genuine seeking happening. Watch the finale with a box of tissues.
Favorites:
1) Adoradores Conference. There is a large church here in Tegucigalpa that has always had worship as kind of the heartbeat of all they do. Pretty much ever since I've lived in Honduras, that church has been an oasis for me in times when I've needed to hear the Lord's voice or need to find a deeper connection with the Holy Spirit. For most years, this church, Ministerio Tsebaoth, has hosted a large worship event every January. It usually starts with a few weeks of consecutive worship nights and culminates in 12 to 24 hours of worship. They have brought in worship leaders from various parts of the world including United Pursuit, Jason Upton, Marcos Brunet, Conquistando Fronteras, Paul Wilbur, En Espíritu y En Verdad, Ebenezer Honduras, and various others. It's a powerful time. This year, they kept Adoradores mainly in-house at their church rather than in a national stadium and geared it as a conference, inviting various worship leaders and speakers from Brazil and Costa Rica. I went with my friend, Lindsey, and we had a great time of soaking in the Lord's presence and receiving confirmations and prophetic words. One of the things I always appreciate about Adoradores is feeling encouraged at seeing Hondurans who are championing worship and God's voice and His presence. They are already sending out Hondurans to minister in other parts of the world. Overall, it was just a great way to start the year and a new season in ministry.
Songs on Repeat:
This year, especially since worship is continuing to be a central focus for this season in ministry, I wanted to add a new feature to these recaps--a playlist! Here are the songs that God is currently using to speak to me:
"His Banner Over Me" -- Jeremy Riddle and Austin Williamson - Bethel Music
"This Is a Move" -- Brandon Lake and Tasha Cobbs Leonard -- Bethel Music
"You Are My Champion" -- Dante Bowes -- Bethel Music
"Prophesy Your Promise" -- Bryan and Katie Torwalt
"Yes and Amen" -- Housefires
"Awake My Soul" -- Hillsong Worship
"Walls" -- Gateway Worship (I also really love the Spanish version called "Murallas")
"Garden" -- United Pursuit
"Take a Moment" -- United Pursuit
"Defender" -- Steffany Gretzinger -- Bethel Music
"Communion" -- TRIBL featuring Steffany Gretzinger and Brandon Lake of Bethel Music
"Come Alive" -- Dante Bowe -- Bethel Music
"Be Still" -- Kristene DiMarco -- Jesus Culture
"Miracles" -- Amanda Cook -- Bethel Music
"Cielo y Tierra" -- Conquistando Fronteras
"Nada Más" -- Conquistando Fronteras
Here is the link to the playlist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERDDFsw5e_qr7uYExA4mSQYyjcwl6HNx
I hope your 2020 is getting off to a promising start. I pray that you would indeed take a moment in the midst of the hustle and bustle to let Him lighten your load and take off any yoke that you may have placed on yourself or had placed on you. I pray that you'll feel the conviction in your heart that He is in charge of the outcomes and that your job is just to be faithful and stay close to Him. I pray that you would sense Him fighting for you in this season and calling you deeper into reconciliation--with Himself and who He has called you to be and also into reconciliation with your community. In the thick of winter, I hope you feel your heart begin to thaw and the walls in your soul and your circumstances falling down. His banner over you and the name He calls you, my friends, is beloved.
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